THE THINGS I’M FOCUSING ON NOW, OTHER THAN MEN

I know I recently declared that I’m now taking a deep dive into the dating apps. Since I was dumped a few months ago, and was feeling more ready to give dating a try. And I’m not saying I’m swearing off dating apps forever. I haven’t had terrible experiences since I got back on the apps. And there’s really no reason why I’m feeling inspired to put the apps down already. Other than the fact that I JUST DON’T WANT TO DATE RIGHT NOW. I’m just not feeling interested in men, or relationships, or romance, or sex, or flirting, or dating, or any of that stuff. Not at all. And it’s kind of wigging me out. Because this is all I’ve ever been interested in, ever. Since I was five years old! And this is the first time I’m really interested in things other than men. Continue reading THE THINGS I’M FOCUSING ON NOW, OTHER THAN MEN

ATTENTION MEN: BEAUTIFUL WOMEN HAVE PROBLEMS TOO

I was riding on the train this morning, on the way to work. And I’ll start off by saying that I consider myself to be a beautiful woman. I’m not sorry about it. And beautiful women should never apologize for their beauty, because they actually, really can’t help it. Although I do take care of myself, I honestly can’t take much credit for my beauty. Because I basically just lucked out in the gene pool, and that’s just kind of the way it goes. I won’t apologize for it, and I mostly just try to enjoy it while it lasts. Because I also know that my beauty, or I should say, the kind of beauty that is valued in our society, is literally fading with every passing day. And that’s totally okay too. However, I still feel radiant and beautiful most days, and today was no exception. Continue reading ATTENTION MEN: BEAUTIFUL WOMEN HAVE PROBLEMS TOO

THOUGHTS I HAVE EVERY TIME I VISIT THE GYNECOLOGIST

This is the third post of my “Real and Raw” guest post series. This post, “Thoughts I Have Every Time I Visit The Gynecologist,” was written by my blogging bestie, the gorgeous Moksha of The Happy Panda. Moksha once described me as her older and wiser self. And I do believe we are true kindred spirits. Because I have always seen so much of my younger self in her, before she even made that comparison. Continue reading THOUGHTS I HAVE EVERY TIME I VISIT THE GYNECOLOGIST

WELCOME TO THE GRAVEYARD OF UNWRITTEN BLOG POSTS

The idea for this blog post is 100% inspired by my newest and dearest blogging friend K E Garland. Her original post, “8 Titles Of Blogs I’m Not Going To Write,” inspired me with its pep, variation, and substance. And also, as a blogger, I can relate to creating an amazing title for a blog post and then losing the inspiration to write about it. Unwritten blog posts are just part of the creative blogging process and no big deal. And so, I love how Kathy captured this, and I kinda just love her in general! She also recently guest posted for me, and wow, this article got SO much love. She’s thoughtful, badass, honest, brilliant, and goddess-esque to her core. So, of course I love her! Continue reading WELCOME TO THE GRAVEYARD OF UNWRITTEN BLOG POSTS

BEING SINGLE DOESN’T HAVE TO MEAN BEING MISERABLE

In this podcast episode, I share a bit about the grieving process over my recent breakup, and where I am at now, after all is said and done. And I expand upon a new way of being single, that entails avoiding the angst, and drama, and desperate longing, that often accompanied my search for love in the past. And how I’m excited by a new approach to finding love that doesn’t involve so much struggle. I also share about how I’m coming to terms with the fact that I really do need to find a way to get to a place of complete happiness, with or without a partner. And how I must learn new ways of living life as a single person, and letting go of such intense focus on finding someone. Being single and being miserable must no longer be mutually exclusive!!  Continue reading BEING SINGLE DOESN’T HAVE TO MEAN BEING MISERABLE

IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO AVOID NERVOUSNESS ON A FIRST DATE!

So, I’m going on my first date tonight, post-breakup. You gals, this is a HUGE deal. This is the first date I’ve been on in over three and a half years. And even though I’m a bit out of practice, I’ve been on enough dates in the past. To know that it’s impossible to avoid nervousness on a first date. And I think understanding this fact, can actually ease a bit of the stress. It’s another flavor of accepting life on life’s terms. To know that when it comes to dating, this is just part of it, and there’s no getting around it. And to try to not be nervous, I think just makes things worse. Continue reading IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO AVOID NERVOUSNESS ON A FIRST DATE!

THERE ARE OTHER KINDS OF VALUABLE INTELLIGENCES BESIDES THE PATRIARCHAL KIND

I will start off this post by saying that in no way am I knocking patriarchal intelligence. And if you don’t know what I mean by patriarchal intelligence, I’ll explain below. Please know that I believe there are all kinds of intelligences, and I think that all of them are valuable. And this article is more to express my frustration about the fact that patriarchal intelligence has historically received (and still receives) WAY more respect, throughout the entire globe, than most other kinds of intelligences. And it pisses me off. Continue reading THERE ARE OTHER KINDS OF VALUABLE INTELLIGENCES BESIDES THE PATRIARCHAL KIND

FAINTING: A LESSON IN CONSCIOUSNESS

This is the second post of my “Real and Raw” guest post series, written by the brilliant word witch, Jaya Avendel. Whenever I read Jaya’s words, I always feel a bit transported. Transported to moss-covered forests, or high up into cold clouds, or pushed down below the surface of dark waters. And I love it! She’s a true poet. I mean, she’s actually, literally, a legitimate poet. You can find out more about Jaya, and enjoy her words, just as I have, by following her ethereal blog, Nin Chronicles. Continue reading FAINTING: A LESSON IN CONSCIOUSNESS

I REFUSE TO BE MISERABLE AS A SINGLE PERSON

I recently shared that “I’m Back On The Dating Apps And I’m Optimistic!” However, it takes a LOT of optimism, hope, trust, and good friends, to stay emotionally afloat in the online dating world. Luckily, I have all of those things at my disposal, so I’m managing just fine so far. Still, after one lame chat with one lame person, one can easily become disillusioned and cynical about the whole dang thing. But, for whatever reason, last night, after meditating with the goddesses before bed, I decided something. As I lay my head down on my pillow, I could feel the truth of it in my bones. And I decided that no matter what, I refuse to be miserable as a single person. Even though I’m coming out of a heart-wrenching breakup, and have all the reason in the world to feel sorry for myself and be miserable, I’m just not going to go there. And it felt so cathartic, and good, and right, to declare this for myself! Continue reading I REFUSE TO BE MISERABLE AS A SINGLE PERSON

HAVING THE AUDACITY TO BE HAPPY AND SINGLE OVER 40

In this podcast episode, I talk about some touchy subjects regarding the judgements and pressures that our patriarchal society places on single women in particular.  Marriage and children are beautiful things that I support and desire. And yet, at the same time, if women are unmarried and/or without children, they often receive deeply insidious societal messages that tell them they are somehow less than. And therefore, how dare they have the audacity to be happy as single women?! I also expand upon some of the problems with marriage in a patriarchal society. And mention the three patriarchal ideals of entitlement, childishness, and laziness, and how single women in particular are a threat to these ideals. I hope this episode inspires those who are feeling ashamed of their single status to say NO to these messages. And instead, have the audacity to be happy, regardless of your relationship status. Continue reading HAVING THE AUDACITY TO BE HAPPY AND SINGLE OVER 40