1. I’m going to be very honest here and say that it’s probably the first post of yours that I don’t entirely relate with just because I don’t think I’m beautiful (not looking for compliments just what I think and I love how I look now but don’t categorise it as beautiful). 🙈

    But I do think that some of your experiences are common with all women around the world. I used to use the public bus to go to college. During those days I was an obese tomboy who’d wear their dad’s tee shirts over baggy jeans and not really care about how I looked. And I had some bad experiences on the bus to the point that I was afraid of taking the bus. (I was an awkward, nervous, nerdy virgin who didn’t know how to deal with inappropriate touches or “casual” pushes or men standing inappropriately close. I was never sure of what was a bad touch and how to raise my voice against it.)

    And men thinking that women are dumb is just patriarchal. In my last corporate job, I had a woman boss who was a part of the management team (the only woman) and I’d see how men on the team would treat her like she didn’t know what she was talking about. I’ve always faced this issue multiple times despite considering myself to be very intelligent. It’s more about patriarchy and not considering women to be equals. ☹️

    1. Thank you so much for sharing. Of course I hate when we’re not always on the same page but honestly, real friendships contain moments of being super kindred and the same, and then deviating at times. I think that’s totally normal and good for the friendship. And I’m also glad (well, not glad) that you could relate to other parts of the post. Yes, it takes time to realize what is and isn’t right in terms of what’s done to us, and even as we get older it can be really scary to stand up for ourselves against a man who’s just bigger and stronger than us. It’s terrifying actually. Yes, so much more work to be done in terms of patriarchy. I knew this post was going to perhaps make people feel all kinds of weird ways, but I’ve been wanting to write about this topic for years, so just had to get it out! Thank you for reading 😘 I hope we’re still good?!?!

  2. OMG, yes yes. I didn’t realise that my comment would seem rude. I just meant that it’s an experience of yours that I don’t connect with but it doesn’t invalidate your experience. I’m sorry if it came across like that. 🙈

    1. Nooooo not rude at all! Of course it’s not rude, I always want honesty, and I’m soooooo lucky to have an honest friend who always shares her thoughts. Sorry if my comment made u feel like u said something wrong. You did not!!! 🌺☺️😘💖

    1. Yes you’re welcome! It’s hard to come across as not sounding offensive or off-putting. But it’s a real thing and I just felt like I needed to speak on it. I’m glad it spoke to you!! 💖🌺

  3. Excellent post, Libby! It was great getting the perspective of a beautiful woman. My younger sister was the beautiful one but it did not bring her a happy-every-after ending. I was pleased to note that you acknowledge that “this doesn’t only happen to “conventionally beautiful” women. It happens to all women.” I’ve had my share of unwanted attention from men in the workplace and in public spaces. And it doesn’t end as we age!

    1. Thank you so much for sharing and I so appreciate hearing your perspective. As I was writing I definitely started feeling protective of all women (whom I happen to think are all beautiful even if society doesn’t decide they are!) and I’m sorry you had to deal with that bologna in the workplace and in public. Ugh!!! Yep I’m just gonna keep talking about it and sharing about until it stops, which will probably be for the rest of my lifetime, but that’s ok, progress is better than nothing. And we are worth it 🌺 I’m also sorry to hear about your sister, oh no. But it’s true, beauty is really pretty irrelevant when it comes to big life things and the bigger picture. I hope her story is not over yet!

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