I don’t really want to write this post, because I get upset thinking about it. But it’s boiling for me right now, so I must. And after watching S4:E1 of Yellowstone last night, I decided that I will be boycotting violence in the media and aggression towards women. I’m not going to attach a link to the this show, because you can search for it if you’re curious. And I am not going to include any imagery of violence in the media. Because by doing so, I would go against the points I will be making, for boycotting violence in the first place. I would like to keep this short, and get this over with quickly. So, pardon the brevity. And here we go!
PS I use a fair amount of swear words in this post, and I apologize in advance if this is off-putting. But, you’ve been warned.
HOW IS VISUALS OF VIOLENCE IN THE MEDIA AND AGGRESSION TOWARDS WOMEN HELPFUL?
Guess what? I know what it looks like when a woman gets her face punched by a man. The media has shown enough of this. And I don’t believe the media is “bringing awareness” to the topic of violence in the world, in any healthy way. If anyone is unaware of the fact that violence and aggression towards women is a thing that happens regularly in the world, then that confuses me. Either they are a bit too sheltered to really know, which is not necessarily a bad thing. Or, they are in a bit of denial. But either way, I don’t need to see this in fictional form to know it exists. And seeing imagery of women being harmed in any way, does not add to my life in any way. In fact, it taketh away.
My mother experienced deeply disturbing, and life-threatening abuse during her years of alcohol addiction. I was in my teens and I did not witness her abuse first-hand. But I did see the after effects of this abuse. And I also don’t believe that sharing the details of her physical maladies, caused by this abuse, will be helpful here.
However, you may instead enjoy reading my article, “The World Is Petrified Of Strong Females.”
IF WOMEN RAN THE WORLD
I actually couldn’t make it through the entire first episode of Yellowstone. In fact, I couldn’t make it more than five minutes. After that, I had to turn it off. And I was angry, as well as nauseated. At that moment, I decided that after being a die hard fan for three seasons, I’m not even interested in seeing how it turns out. And I refuse to watch the rest of it.
After I turned off the show, I was speaking to a friend of mine about it. And we realized if women were running the world, and Hollywood, this would not be a thing. Why would women promote, glamorize, normalize, and spread imagery of such traumatic filth? We as women can all imagine what it might be like to experience this kind of thing, if we haven’t experienced it already. And we live with the fear of violence every day. Even if this fear is buried subconsciously, beneath the surface, we fundamentally feel our vulnerability in the world. And this fear, I believe, is deeply embedded in our cells.
WHY SUCH VIOLENCE?
My friend asked me why I thought there was so much of this kind of thing. And I didn’t even have to think about it. It’s because men rule Hollywood, and these are the flavor of fantasies inside of their brains. I’m not saying all men are violent towards women, or even have such violent thoughts. And I don’t know anything about Taylor Sheridan, creator of and writer for the show. But, what a fucking asshole. I mean, he can explain away all the reasons for this kind of violence in his show. But I don’t care and don’t want to hear it. Because all it does is harm our culture.
Definitely, definitely watch This Changes Everything on Netflix. And make the men in your life watch it as well. This is a documentary about the alarming lack of female representation in Hollywood.
From left, Joelle Dobrow, Nell Cox, Susan Nimoy, Dolores Ferraro, Lynne Littman and Victoria Hochberg in 1980. They founded the Directors Guild of America’s Women’s Steering Committee in 1979. Image Credit: Good Deed Entertainment
FUCK QUENTIN TARANTINO
I really don’t care what kind of “creative genius” everyone thinks Quentin Tarantino is. I think he is too, honestly. But I don’t care. He’s still an asshole for portraying such horror towards women, in all of his films.
I tried to watch Django Unchained and burst into tears during scenes where Kerry Washington was being abused. I’m sorry, but fuck Quentin Tarantino. He doesn’t know a damn thing about women, and only sees them as objects. Even if he portrays “empowered” women in his films, they are still objects. And most often, being violently abused in some way, shape, or form.
I suppose I can understand if triumphant portrayals of women overcoming abusive situations could be positive. Perhaps seeing this kind of strength in the media, can bring about healing within women who have experienced violence. So, I can not speak on that, and definitely do not want to take that away from any woman’s healing process. Please let me know if you agree.
However, I am boycotting violence in the media and aggression towards women, because watching these kinds of things does not add to my livelihood in any way. It traumatizes me, and makes me angry. And I don’t want to feel that way if I don’t have to. Violence is not entertaining to me. It’s painful, and sad, and frightening, and disturbing.
TURNING AWAY
I know one could say that I might be choosing to be ignorant by my avoidance. But I’ve explained by now that I’m not ignorant of the problem of violence and aggression towards women. I’m turning away instead from its blockbuster portrayal. And that is all. It’s an act of self-preservation. I want to keep my soul happy and free. And the smut mentioned above just leaves dark marks on my heart, permanently. I don’t need that. And neither do you! Or any of us…
I know my viewpoint is rather harsh in this article. And I am open to hearing other sides of this argument, I truly am. But I feel strongly about this stance and I wanted to share this with my fellow goddesses. xo
THANK YOU FOR READING!
I told you I would keep this brief! So, how do you feel about my article? Do you think it’s extreme? Or do you agree in any way about this violence in the media and aggression towards women? Please let me know in the comments. xo
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PHOTO CREDITS
Featured photo by Kirill Balobanov on Unsplash
Woman with eyes closed photo by Motoki Tonn on Unsplash
What a thought-provoking, fascinating post! I so so so love this topic and I’m very glad you chose to write about it. What a shame it is that we hardly think about negative representations in media- we never ponder over important things. What very wasteful species we are!
Films have a powerful effect and are supposed to convey some sort of a message. But why is violence often the message conveyed? Worse, I can tolerate violence on the screen, but one I absolutely HAAATE and cringe at is the “damsel in distress” scenes where the woman is at the verge of being sexually abused or attacked and the hero comes flying from somewhere to save her day. SERIOUSLY??! Why is it that we hardly ever see a change in that and get to watch the lady strongly defend herself and set herself free? Why are women always portrayed as vulnerable and powerless? Will a hero actually come to save your day in real life?
This is, in a way, asserting the perpetrators of a woman’s vulnerability and powerlessness, which I absolutely hate.
Loved the points you brought out in this amazing article and the reference to TV shows. Will watch that documentary for sure. Absolutely loved this!
Oh yes, tell me what u think of the documentary, once you watch it! And so true about the damsel in distress!! Yes to it all, so much change needs to happen. ❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹
This has been an ongoing debate in India over the past 2-3 years. A movie called ‘Kabir Singh’ came out in 2019 and became a superhit. At the center of the movie is a man called ‘Kabir Singh’ who goes around hitting people (due to some messed up anger issue) including the woman he loves. He apparently hits her out of love – WHAT EVEN? Add to that when his house help breaks a glass he chases her down the building to beat her up and apparently it is supposed to be a funny scene. And like I mentioned before this movie was one of the biggest Bollywood movies that year and it was a remake of the same movie in Tollywood (a South Indian branch of films) which was also a crazy hit.
What filmmakers need to understand is how impressionable audiences are and how easily they are influenced by the movies and shows they watch. It is so alarming to see the cavalier attitude they still have around violence against women. In a lot of Indian cinema, violence against women was shown as a catalyst for the hero to well do his heroic things. Or that a hero being a stalker and sexually assaulting a woman leads to her falling in love with him. *EYE ROLL*
I really hope things change in the future and I am so glad you wrote about this. <3
Ugh that’s terrible. Yes it needs to change. And I actually think filmmakers are aware of how this affects people. But they also know that people actually like watching this?! That’s the part I don’t understand. How that could ever be seen as funny is beyond me. Such a crazy healing process we must all go through as humans! We’re so not there yet ❤️🩹
Thank you for sharing. I have a zero tolerance to violence and I definitely can’t watch movies where women are either covertly or overtly abused. Ever see Crazy, Stupid Love? That movie makes me want to throw up!
Oh I think I’ve seen that although I don’t recall any violence. But I may have buried that in my mind. Definitely same and can’t stomach any of it. Thank u so much for reading.
It’s more covert, like being creepy and the guys saying, “I won’t give up on my girl”. That’s what makes me want to throw up!
Ugh yeah I def feel that 😖
I agree with so much of what you said, Libby. I don’t think violence is necessary to contribute to the “essence” of any fictional film. I do, however, think the jolting imagery (more so, the aftermath of such violence- not so much in the moment reenactment) searing and therefore helpful for people to understand the reality of such tragedies and how rampant these incidents of violence against women are. Does that make sense?
Great, thought-provoking and powerful article!
Yes definitely, I understand, it can be helpful for those who have maybe been blind to the realities of it all. Thank u so much for your thoughts, they’re definitely important to me!! 😊
Ugh. And I just started watching Yellowstone this past weekend. 🙁
We’ll hang in there, it’s really very good honestly. It just it kept getting worse and worse every season with the violence and I just reached my limit. Lemme know what u think actually.
I will, but I have to say, I’m not a fan of the animal violence/death. That’s why it took me so long to start the series.
Yes totally understandable ugh
I can’t stomach violence on TV or in movies, and will turn off, walk out, stop watching in a minute. I don’t have cable or Internet at home so it’s not as much of an issue. But when I’m visiting friends or family they know: no violent flicks. For that matter, no blood/gore/horror either.
Good for you! It just makes for a better existence I think 💖☮️😊
I totally agree. Showing awful things happening to women in movies and on TV is a trope, a cliché that seems to continue to titillate, and I hate it, and won’t watch anything that smells of this. I hate objectification of women and I appreciate your seeing that there are many shades of it.
💯