FINDING A LOVE PARTNER DOESN’T JUST HAPPEN

In this podcast episode, I contemplate the profound magic and divine timing (some might call it luck) involved in meeting a love partner. I reflect on how most people only have a few actual love partners in their entire lifetime. Therefore, the process of finding a love partnership during a period of single-ness requires patience and trust. I also reflect upon both of my exes, and even though these partnerships did not work out, I still view them as sacred and divine. Finding a love partner doesn’t just happen, and it’s perfectly okay to take your time with this search. Continue reading FINDING A LOVE PARTNER DOESN’T JUST HAPPEN

DECEMBER REPRESENTS BOTH LOVE AND LOSS FOR ME

I’ve been feeling emotionally heavy lately and I haven’t been able to put my finger on it. But every year around this time I start to feel this way. And whenever I feel this way, I have a compulsion to create some art to get some of my gunky feelings out. Last night, I made something to release this gunk. Then, as I was running errands this morning, I realized the three biggest losses of my life all happened in December. And the art I made last night was a direct reflection of these three losses. In this post, I’m going to decode this work of art and share a few things with you. As it’s become abundantly clear to me that December represents both love and loss for me. Continue reading DECEMBER REPRESENTS BOTH LOVE AND LOSS FOR ME

SEX, ART, AND RELATIONSHIPS ARE THE SAME IN THESE WAYS

In this podcast episode I discuss seven things that happen when we engage in sex, art-making, and entering into a relationship with another. All of these things require an element of surrender, as well as deliberate action, and so much more. And when these three processes are complete, we are never quite the same. It’s actually quite a beautiful way to make peace with loss, completions, and endings. And it’s an even better way to remain hopeful about continuing forward with these three beautiful acts of love.  Continue reading SEX, ART, AND RELATIONSHIPS ARE THE SAME IN THESE WAYS

3 WAYS I’VE TRIUMPHED AS A SINGLE WOMAN

This title doesn’t exactly capture the sentiment of this article, so let me clarify. I’m going to share specifically about three things I used to feel sorry for myself about as a single woman, but no longer attach a sad story to. Now, they’re just things that have nothing to do with me being single. Trust me, you’ll understand more once I get going. Continue reading 3 WAYS I’VE TRIUMPHED AS A SINGLE WOMAN

IF I’M BEING HONEST, I’M SCARED TO FALL IN LOVE AGAIN

I’ve been pulling daily tarot cards lately so I can be mindful of where my soul is at. And yesterday I pulled a card that perplexed me. The card was John Holland’s “Trapped in Fear” card, otherwise known as the 8 of swords in traditional tarot. And my first reaction was, “I’m not scared!” And then I had a dream last night that validated this card. Cementing for me, in the wee hours of this morning, the fact that, oh damn, I’m scared to fall in love again. Not just scared, but petrified. Continue reading IF I’M BEING HONEST, I’M SCARED TO FALL IN LOVE AGAIN

WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU COCOONED, FOR REAL?

In this episode I share about my most recent dating disappointment, and how it compelled me to enter into cocooning mode after several days of resisting facing my feelings. Seriously, when is the last time you cocooned? Sad emotions, and even seemingly minor disappointments, setbacks, conflicts, and other life issues take a lot out of us. And many of us go months, if not years, without stopping to cocoon and just feel our feelings, and tend to ourselves. How many of you are resisting it too? Continue reading WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU COCOONED, FOR REAL?

DATING DISAPPOINTMENTS ARE FORCING ME TO BECOME MORE ZEN

Over the weekend, I had a dating potential go south, and I’m super bummed. This time, it wasn’t too terrible. He was so nice, and was so honest and up front about himself. And he essentially realized he wasn’t as ready to date as he thought he was, and decided to take a break to work on himself. I mean, I get it, I really do. But damn, I REALLY liked him. Granted, we only had two dates. But wow, dating him made me realize I need to raise my bar a bit. Because he’s the first guy I’ve dated in a really long time who I actually liked. And who I was insanely attracted to. And dating is so much more fun when you’re into it. However, dating disappointments hurt that much more when you really like the person. But, I suppose it’s a risk I’m willing to take on my quest for love. Continue reading DATING DISAPPOINTMENTS ARE FORCING ME TO BECOME MORE ZEN

IMAGINE IF YOU WERE JOBLESS FOR 10 YEARS STRAIGHT

Firstly, this isn’t a post about being jobless. It’s about being single. And I’m just warning you, this might be another “please feel sorry for me” post. So I’m apologizing in advance. However, I was trying to think of a way to explain what it’s like to be perpetually single for close to two decades. And how truly wrong it feels to experience relationship scarcity for an extended period of time. So, this is what I came up with. And am asking you for a moment, to imagine that jobless-ness and single-ness are one and the same. And in this post, I’m going to break down what it might look and feel like to be jobless for 10 years. When in reality, I’m just talking about myself, and swapping out love for work. Make sense? Then, let’s go! Continue reading IMAGINE IF YOU WERE JOBLESS FOR 10 YEARS STRAIGHT

FLORENCE, FIONA, AND I MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON

This post is going to be a bit self-indulgent and rather obnoxious, I fear. But, I’m trying my best to just feel better about things. And it’s a full moon right now, so my emotions and thoughts are super intense at this current time. Anyway, as I was feeling sorry for myself about my plight (perpetual singleness at age 42), something occurred to me. And I thought about how if I was happy in a relationship, I probably wouldn’t have as much to share on my blog. Or with others in general. Because when I’m tortured, I’m constantly learning. And constantly creating. So, just like Florence Welch and Fiona Apple, two of the most romantically angsty musical artists I know, perhaps my pains are not in vain. Continue reading FLORENCE, FIONA, AND I MIGHT HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON

I KEEP LOOKING OUTSIDE OF MYSELF FOR LOVE AND HAPPINESS

I think I’m doing this whole life thing wrong at the moment. Because I know on paper, the wiser rules say that we have to be happy with ourselves first before we can love another. And I’m not saying I’m not happy with myself. I really do love myself, even more now than I ever have. My heartbreaking breakup really sent me that gift. And yet, when I hear people say that all the love we need is within ourselves, I get confused. I wonder how someone can be fine if they lost their partner. Or went their whole lives without someone to share it with. And I know it’s wrong, but I have to admit, that right now, I keep looking outside of myself for love and happiness. And I’m not sure what to do about this. Continue reading I KEEP LOOKING OUTSIDE OF MYSELF FOR LOVE AND HAPPINESS