10 THINGS ABOUT ME THAT REALLY BOTHERED HIM

I’m feeling the need to write this post, because I’m still in an active grieving process. Grieving from being abruptly broken up with after three and a half years together. And after these four months, I’m still trying to pick up the pieces and make sense of the whole thing. So, as part of my healing journey, I’m wanting to make sure that I take some responsibility for myself. And I don’t want to just be a complete victim in the whole thing. Even though that’s 100% how I feel about it most of the time. And I don’t like this at all. But, no. It really takes two to tango. And we both made great contributions, as well as lots of mistakes. So, here’s my attempt at getting honest with myself, about the things about me that really bothered him. Continue reading 10 THINGS ABOUT ME THAT REALLY BOTHERED HIM

I’M STILL A HOPEFUL ROMANTIC AT HEART

A thought popped in my head this morning on my way to work. It was a memory of a time when I was told by two “Angel Ladies” about the future of my love life. At the time I dismissed it, because I really didn’t like what they were saying. But, for the most part, their prophecy seems to have been pretty accurate. I’ll share the details below, don’t you worry. But for now, I’ll say that even though I’m 42 and recently dumped, I’m still a hopeful romantic at heart, despite their foreboding prophecy. I’m just not ready to give up yet. Even though the path behind me has been fraught with pain, frustration, and sadness. As these Angel Ladies had foreseen. Continue reading I’M STILL A HOPEFUL ROMANTIC AT HEART

REAL AND RAW RECOLLECTIONS OF BOOZE, CIGGIES, AND LOVE

This is the third post of my “Real and Raw” guest post series. This post, “Recollections Of Booze, Ciggies, And Love,” was written by my lovely, talented, and precious Aunt Sandy. Sandy has always been a creative person, and has been putting her art out into the world for as long as I’ve known her. She is a visual artist and crafter, but is also a beautiful writer, as you will see below. Continue reading REAL AND RAW RECOLLECTIONS OF BOOZE, CIGGIES, AND LOVE

THE THINGS I’M FOCUSING ON NOW, OTHER THAN MEN

I know I recently declared that I’m now taking a deep dive into the dating apps. Since I was dumped a few months ago, and was feeling more ready to give dating a try. And I’m not saying I’m swearing off dating apps forever. I haven’t had terrible experiences since I got back on the apps. And there’s really no reason why I’m feeling inspired to put the apps down already. Other than the fact that I JUST DON’T WANT TO DATE RIGHT NOW. I’m just not feeling interested in men, or relationships, or romance, or sex, or flirting, or dating, or any of that stuff. Not at all. And it’s kind of wigging me out. Because this is all I’ve ever been interested in, ever. Since I was five years old! And this is the first time I’m really interested in things other than men. Continue reading THE THINGS I’M FOCUSING ON NOW, OTHER THAN MEN

ATTENTION MEN: BEAUTIFUL WOMEN HAVE PROBLEMS TOO

I was riding on the train this morning, on the way to work. And I’ll start off by saying that I consider myself to be a beautiful woman. I’m not sorry about it. And beautiful women should never apologize for their beauty, because they actually, really can’t help it. Although I do take care of myself, I honestly can’t take much credit for my beauty. Because I basically just lucked out in the gene pool, and that’s just kind of the way it goes. I won’t apologize for it, and I mostly just try to enjoy it while it lasts. Because I also know that my beauty, or I should say, the kind of beauty that is valued in our society, is literally fading with every passing day. And that’s totally okay too. However, I still feel radiant and beautiful most days, and today was no exception. Continue reading ATTENTION MEN: BEAUTIFUL WOMEN HAVE PROBLEMS TOO

WELCOME TO THE GRAVEYARD OF UNWRITTEN BLOG POSTS

The idea for this blog post is 100% inspired by my newest and dearest blogging friend K E Garland. Her original post, “8 Titles Of Blogs I’m Not Going To Write,” inspired me with its pep, variation, and substance. And also, as a blogger, I can relate to creating an amazing title for a blog post and then losing the inspiration to write about it. Unwritten blog posts are just part of the creative blogging process and no big deal. And so, I love how Kathy captured this, and I kinda just love her in general! She also recently guest posted for me, and wow, this article got SO much love. She’s thoughtful, badass, honest, brilliant, and goddess-esque to her core. So, of course I love her! Continue reading WELCOME TO THE GRAVEYARD OF UNWRITTEN BLOG POSTS

BEING SINGLE DOESN’T HAVE TO MEAN BEING MISERABLE

In this podcast episode, I share a bit about the grieving process over my recent breakup, and where I am at now, after all is said and done. And I expand upon a new way of being single, that entails avoiding the angst, and drama, and desperate longing, that often accompanied my search for love in the past. And how I’m excited by a new approach to finding love that doesn’t involve so much struggle. I also share about how I’m coming to terms with the fact that I really do need to find a way to get to a place of complete happiness, with or without a partner. And how I must learn new ways of living life as a single person, and letting go of such intense focus on finding someone. Being single and being miserable must no longer be mutually exclusive!!  Continue reading BEING SINGLE DOESN’T HAVE TO MEAN BEING MISERABLE

IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO AVOID NERVOUSNESS ON A FIRST DATE!

So, I’m going on my first date tonight, post-breakup. You gals, this is a HUGE deal. This is the first date I’ve been on in over three and a half years. And even though I’m a bit out of practice, I’ve been on enough dates in the past. To know that it’s impossible to avoid nervousness on a first date. And I think understanding this fact, can actually ease a bit of the stress. It’s another flavor of accepting life on life’s terms. To know that when it comes to dating, this is just part of it, and there’s no getting around it. And to try to not be nervous, I think just makes things worse. Continue reading IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO AVOID NERVOUSNESS ON A FIRST DATE!

I REFUSE TO BE MISERABLE AS A SINGLE PERSON

I recently shared that “I’m Back On The Dating Apps And I’m Optimistic!” However, it takes a LOT of optimism, hope, trust, and good friends, to stay emotionally afloat in the online dating world. Luckily, I have all of those things at my disposal, so I’m managing just fine so far. Still, after one lame chat with one lame person, one can easily become disillusioned and cynical about the whole dang thing. But, for whatever reason, last night, after meditating with the goddesses before bed, I decided something. As I lay my head down on my pillow, I could feel the truth of it in my bones. And I decided that no matter what, I refuse to be miserable as a single person. Even though I’m coming out of a heart-wrenching breakup, and have all the reason in the world to feel sorry for myself and be miserable, I’m just not going to go there. And it felt so cathartic, and good, and right, to declare this for myself! Continue reading I REFUSE TO BE MISERABLE AS A SINGLE PERSON

CREATING MY BEST LIFE LIKE SPOKES ON A WHEEL

I love this featured image, because the wheel is very imposing and powerful, but it’s clearly been through a lot. It’s also got a bit of red dappled throughout, representing its eternal fire. And its colors can still be seen from across the woods, calling in other weary travelers passing by. This wheel, in my mind, represents life. And I have been turning to this spokes-on-a-wheel metaphor as I slowly make my way through this difficult time. From heartbreak chrysalis, to fragile yet healing caterpillar, to joyful butterfly. And I try to think of the spokes on a wheel as being representative of each one of the beautiful segments of my current life. In order to keep my priorities in balance, and to keep my life moving along in perfect harmony. Continue reading CREATING MY BEST LIFE LIKE SPOKES ON A WHEEL