Over the weekend, I had a dating potential go south, and I’m super bummed. This time, it wasn’t too terrible. He was so nice, and was so honest and up front about himself. And he essentially realized he wasn’t as ready to date as he thought he was, and decided to take a break to work on himself. I mean, I get it, I really do. But damn, I REALLY liked him. Granted, we only had two dates. But wow, dating him made me realize I need to raise my bar a bit. Because he’s the first guy I’ve dated in a really long time who I actually liked. And who I was insanely attracted to. And dating is so much more fun when you’re into it. However, dating disappointments hurt that much more when you really like the person. But, I suppose it’s a risk I’m willing to take on my quest for love.
Since I Lost My Dream Life 12 Days Before Christmas, I’ve been single for close to eight months now. And actively dating for about five of those months. I’ve been on dates with four different men since my breakup, and they’ve all been really, super nice, honestly. Except one of them, who was super lame. He interrupted me when I was sharing about something important, and ignored me when I was sharing about something else. Nope, that’s not going to work for me at all. But, the other three have been lovely. And this last man was a dream. Except for the whole not-wanting-to-date thing.
I’M TAKING THESE DATING BLOWS LIKE A CHAMP
I mean, I’m super bummed today, I really am. And I even cried a bit last night when the whole thing fell through. But even though I really liked him, my tears weren’t really about him. I think I was just so sad about the repeated dating disappointments that I’ve been experiencing for over a decade now. And I just want to share romantic love with someone so badly.
However, something is happening to me, and it feels rather zen. I don’t know if it’s because I’ve had my heart broken and am now liberated from fear. Or if I’ve just been dating so much that I’ve been getting more used to the ebb and flow of the roller coaster of love. Whatever it is that’s happening within me, I’ve been noticing a shift. And I think I’m handling the WHOLE dating bullshit madness so much better than I ever have in my entire life.
I have no idea why, really, but here are a few thoughts as to why I might be a bit more zen about my recent dating disappointments.
1. I feel so fulfilled in so many other areas of my life.
2. I no longer feel personally rejected when something doesn’t work out, and I know that any dating disappointment I experience has nothing to do with my worth or lovability.
3. I don’t get depressed about being single when I’m actively dating. Because perhaps it just feels like I’m working my way towards something, even when I do experience dating disappointments.
4. I’ve been actively working on trying to let go of a lot of my controlling tendencies. And so I’ve been really able to take things as they come without throwing too much of a tantrum, or trying to force things that aren’t meant to be.
5. I’ve been meditating regularly, every night, for a few months now.
I also feel encouraged because I think it’s a good sign when we start manifesting things that are really close to what we’re looking for. It means we’re on the right track, and that we’re getting closer and closer to what we really want. We just have to hang in there and not give up! This last guy was really a good egg, so that makes me feel so much better about this particular dating disappointment. It means I’m close!
When I made this video, I was still waiting for an official goodbye from the man I was dating, but I kind of knew it was coming. It came later that evening. However, I clearly enjoyed the rest of my weekend, despite this dating disappointment. And that’s all we can do, right?!
MOVING ON WITH MY HEAD HELD HIGH
You know, it’s not like I bounce back from these things right away. However, I do typically feel better after a few days of moping and processing. And it’s so helpful that I no longer believe that my way is the best way. I no longer question why things are happening. Instead, I just trust in something bigger. What that is I couldn’t say. But I trust that whatever is happening in my life right now isn’t some massive mistake. It’s not all headed in the wrong direction. But instead, is moving along through the mystery. It’s super unnerving to not know where the fuck my life is going, or when I might find a true love partner. However, is it me, or is there actually something kind of beautiful and exciting about not knowing?
I pulled a Goddess Power Oracle Card for myself when this whole dating disappointment was happening. And there was something so delicious about this passage.
“Sometimes you find yourself unable to respond to life’s challenges because you are holding on too tightly to an image of how things should be. It’s hard to adapt to changing circumstances when you are so connected to familiar conditions or an old identity. Or you may be too attached to the form of your desired outcome and when things go in a different direction, you resist. Have no fear! Instead, love these changes; be open and curious. Call on the goddess Aine to embody her power. Remember, she could effortlessly shift from one form to another and move between worlds without consequence. Trust that whatever you’re bumping up against will dissolve through your willingness to simply be with what is and allow the magic to reveal itself.-Colette Baron Reid
I think it’s amazing that I pulled this exact card (out of 52 cards) when I was going through this particular dating disappointment. The goddesses always know just what to say!
THANK YOU FOR READING!
So, I hope this post was inspiring to you, regardless of whether or not you’re experiencing a dating disappointment. The same rules of zen could be applied to any life issue that just ins’t going your way. Give meditating a try if you’re struggling. It really helps! And trust that your life is where it needs to be right now. What do you think?
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Featured photo by Sean Stratton on Unsplash
Wilted flowers photo by Silvestri Matteo on Unsplash