1. Sometimes you just get a moment that jolts you and you realize, “Hey, I can heal from this!” Or you realize you are over it, or something. One time when I realized I was over something was when I almost stepped out in front of a car coming my way. Whatever works!

  2. I have a different take on breakup than all stereotypes about it out there. Let me start by quoting my own words that I wrote a few years ago;

    A love
    That ends
    Never love
    To begin

    I was single, I am single and based on this formula (the one quoted above), if I never get nobody’s love, I’d die single. After all, we are all born alone (and die alone) no matter how many twin, triplet siblings we get.

    Let your heart and soul stay open to new love. Give all the opportunities to everyone that comes your way. Let them be themselves. Only the one who loves him (or herself) truly, madly and deeply, will fall in love with you for good and there won’t be any talk, thought or a sad event of breakup EVER in your life again.

  3. I live with so much more fear now (married) than when I was single.. when I was single I just had one main fear of not finding my person (but only bc I associated finding my person with starting a family)… but me now, so much fear! All things a dating girl might question in her dating relationship, I have been through in my marriage… is this person right for me, could we weather this next storm, are we built to last, could there be someone more suitable for me, am I staying for fear or love.. of course none of this is all at the same time, and most of it is irrational and issues I have within myself from past traumas.. but I definitely get it!

    And not to minimize death because my God death is tragic and terrible and I can’t imagine losing an important person in my life EVER… but there’s a deep painful rejection that obviously goes with being broken up with… this person that you once loved so deeply is still around in the world just walking around living their best life and you’re totally shocked by how easy it was for them to sever that connection (as you said in your previous post)… I’m not saying all this to trigger you (sorry if it comes off that way) but I’m saying it because I think it makes you so much stronger as a person for making it through… it’s tough – it gets better, then it gets tough but then it will get better again! You got this!

    1. Wow thank u so much for sharing so honestly, I feel so touched to hear your words! Especially about fears in your current relationship. I think that’s normal also and yet so many women seem to put on a front once they’re married. But it’s so helpful for women to share their real feelings with each other about their love lives, and help each other through. And I agree with your statement about death actually and feel like a breakup is worse! Because as you said that person is still out there living their life without me. Thank you for sharing your experience and for rooting for me. I still can’t believe humans have to go through this. And yet it seems, everyone does, which makes me feel so much less alone 💖🙏❤️‍🩹🌺

  4. I’m so happy for you and thanks for sharing this here. This post has definitely given me something to look out for and notice about myself 💖

  5. I really like this. I understand the judgment thing. I think we have to have gone through something we deem shameful or humiliating before we really understand that we have no right to judge anyone else.

  6. Gah, I totally get you on the toilet thing. It’s my most-hated task too, but there are people who have no qualms about doing it. It’s something I’m slowly getting used to. And great message in this story, about learning how much fear we let control our lives, which at the end of the day can be unrealistic. Anyway, thanks for this post!

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