This is the second post of my “Real and Raw” guest post series. This post, “Fainting: A Lesson in Consciousness,” was written by the brilliant word witch, Jaya Avendel. Whenever I read Jaya’s words, I always feel a bit transported. Transported to mossy-floored forests, or cold and cloudy, lonely and remote atmospheres. Or pushed down below the surface of dark waters. And I love it! She’s a true poet. I mean, she’s actually, literally, a legitimate poet. You can find out more about Jaya, and enjoy her words, just as I have, by following her ethereal blog, Nin Chronicles.
And I love that she chose the topic of fainting for her “real and raw” story. It’s in keeping with her art. And aligns with her brand of enigmatic yet tactile, vulnerable, delicate, and keen observation of all things beautiful and horrifying in this world. And I find that no matter what she writes, I feel at ease and more relaxed when reading her words. I hope you experience the same!
Without further ado, I give you Jaya’s “Fainting: A Lesson In Consciousness.”
BY JAYA AVENDEL
The first time I had blood drawn, I fainted.
I have fainted over the past eight years from minor and weird injuries, such as knocking my elbow on a doorframe or whacking my hand against an iron knob.
MY FAINTING EXPERIENCE
The first few times I fainted, I tumbled flat, much to the horror and panic of my family. I am told I turn grey as I collapse into unconsciousness. Right before I come to, I shiver and convulse as the color floods back into my face and I awaken.
The outside experience of what it looks like when I faint admittedly sounds freaky, but I experience it in a much gentler fashion. Fainting feels like a rapid plunge into a hazy dream world, followed by a slow climb to awakening, as if I am reaching out of a dream into reality.
I never remember or feel the gravity of my fall or recall the dreams that stretched on forever during my faint. What feels like pure time to me turns out to only have been minutes.
After my first few faints, I became better at recognizing the symptoms I experience right before I faint. The last three times I have fainted, I made it to the nearest chair.
HAVING MY BLOOD DRAWN
When I went to have my blood drawn for a test, the lab was grey and freezing. Sitting in the stiff plastic chair in the waiting area, I wondered if I would faint when it came down to the actual moment.
I tried to distract myself when it came time for the needle to be inserted yet, at the same time, I wanted to watch the blood vibrantly fill the little tubes. I did look away from my arm when the nurse put the needle in, but the sensation brought the scene so vividly to life in my mind, I might as well have watched it happen.
I felt the haziness seep into my consciousness but, before I could utter a word, I was gone!
Luckily for me, my mother was in the next room over and she heard my nurse scream, else I fear I would have come to on a gurney in an unwelcome situation I would have had to fight my way out of. I feel like medics are loath to let a person go once they have them on a stretcher and hospitals are no place I want to end up in over something trivial.
Through I do not look it when I come out of a faint, I very quickly regain full control of my body. The truth is my poor nurse was more shaken by my faint than I. She told me many people faint when she draws their blood, but their faints are a gentle, nodding off motion, like falling asleep. Never had she seen such a violent faint. She said she thought I was having an attack.
The nurse wanted me to make a new appointment for the following week after my spell, but I know from experience that nothing is worse than putting something off only to have it linger at the back of the mind and attract dread.
SO, HOW DOES THIS STORY END?
Well, I went out for a snack and came back to the lab an hour later. After making myself comfortable in a reclining chair, the same nurse mincingly drew my blood; I experienced no further ill-effects. It is a moment I am proud of because I looked dread in the eye and was able to wink!
This feeling of overcoming a fear or dread is the result of my working up the courage to face a moment that my mind associated with negative energy. It is a moment (and a lesson) I carry with me because life is packed with negative moments and being able to overcome them to positive result is an amazing and necessary way to grow!
Looking back on the moment, what sets it apart from other instances when I have shied away from a challenge is, I made up my mind and saw my decision through. I did not overthink my actions or worry about how I made me look; I simply decided I wanted to finish what I started, and I made it happen.
While it is tough to slow the speed with which thoughts rush through my mind, decisive action is the way forward for me. So, if you start something, see it through as swiftly and intentionally as you can. It is worth it in the end to feel the strength and satisfaction of finishing something and doing it to the best of your ability. It is also worth it to know you can face life’s crossroads and take the path that is right for you!
Finally, I would like to extend my thanks to Libby for the amazing opportunity to share this story with you all! I loved exploring the emotion of this experience in writing and I hope you felt, or can relate, to some of my takeaways in your own way.
THANK YOU FOR READING!
So, have you ever experienced fainting before? I can’t really say that I have, but it sounds quite scary and strange. Please share with me your fainting stories if you have them!
I really love doing guest posts every once in awhile. Because I truly believe that women celebrating other women is a fundamental part of our goddess future. It’s where we’re all headed whether people like it or not. And I’m so honored to be a part of such a community of goddesses. A big thank you to Jaya for sharing her words with me and with you. And please follow her blog if you are in love with her written art as much as I am.
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Featured photo by Andras Kovacs on Unsplash