Okay, so I haven’t actually gone out on a date yet. At least not at the time of me writing this post. But, today was the first day I dove into the pool of smart phone romance. And there are a few things that feel different this time around. I will get into these details with you below. But, I just wanted to note what a big deal this is. For those of you who don’t know, I’m fresh out of a breakup. Sixty-six days to be exact. And we were together for three and a half years, in addition to cohabitating. So, it’s been a minute since I’ve been on the dating apps. And a LOT has happened since then.
Let me also start by saying that I know to some this might sound a bit early to get back out there. And I suppose to others, it might sound right on track. Either way, I’m really, really, really taking things with a grain of salt. And I am making sure to keep checking in with myself about why I’m doing this, where I’m at emotionally, and how I’m feeling about the whole thing. I’m taking care of myself first and foremost. And I reserve the right to get the F off the dating apps in any given moment, if it’s starting to feel a bit too overwhelming. Because in all honesty, I’m still nursing a broken heart. And that shit is no joke, and should be honored and taken seriously.
REASONS WHY I’M GETTING BACK ON THE APPS
I have been listening religiously to a brilliant podcast called Heal Your Heartbreak, and I just can’t say enough about it. She’s truly been there, many, many times. And she is so thoughtful and caring towards her listeners, and the fragile emotional state we find ourselves in. She also talks a lot about getting back out there again. And so, I’ve been feeling so supported by this podcast, in my endeavor to find new love.
I KNOW THAT MY EX IS NOT THE ONE FOR ME, AND THAT THERE’S SOMEONE ELSE OUT THERE WHO IS. SO, WHY NOT START LOOKING NOW?
It’s taken me a bit of time to finally accept that my relationship is over. And of course, I still waver at times. But with each passing day, I feel more and more certain that he and I were not a perfect match for one another. And that this split was actually a gift in disguise. Because I’m meant to find someone amazing, who is a great fit for me, and I for him. And if that’s true, there’s really no reason to delay the search.
I THINK I HAVE DONE SO MUCH HEALING IN THE LAST 2+ MONTHS, AND FEEL READY FOR NEWNESS
I think there’s a ton to be said for taking the time to be alone, reflect, and heal. And I’m STILL doing that on a regular basis. But I also think that there is only so much healing that can be done in a vacuum. And ultimately, we often move forward by moving forward. Meaning, sometimes, we need new experiences to get over our old experiences. I’m not even talking about hookups or mindless acts of dating to make you forget how much pain you’re in. I mean, being around other new human beings. Because really, what are relationships if not mirrors? I might be sitting across from a man and realize, nope, not ready yet. But how will I know until I actually put myself out there?
I’M NOT IN A HUGE RUSH AND AM KEEPING MY STANDARDS HIGH
I think before I met my ex, I was in a really different place. It had been SO long since I had experienced an intimate relationship. And I was really, so very excited to be in one. I’m not saying that my ex was not a good guy. I’m just saying that I think I was more interested in being in a relationship, than being with a guy who’s right for me. And now that I’ve had my relationship fix (actually, I’m still jonesing for one, but that’s because I just love partnership), I can take my time to make sure the next one I get into is with someone really right for me.
LIVING ALONE IS NOT MY LONG-TERM GOAL OR DESIRE
I have to be honest with this one and admit that I don’t love being alone. And that doesn’t mean I can’t handle it and am desperate to find a new cohabitation partner. I’m just saying that I have finally learned to accept this about myself. And I know that I don’t like or want to be single forever. I don’t like or want to be alone forever. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. So, being single is a short-term, temporary situation for me. And I plan to keep searching for that special someone until I find him. So again, why not start searching now, rather than later?
AFFIRMATIONS THAT I SET BEFORE I WENT ONTO MY APPS
So, since I’m still a bit fragile, I really wanted to make sure I was getting back on the dating apps with intention. I wanted to make sure that I had clear ideas about what I was looking for, so I wouldn’t waver in times of weakness (aka loneliness or insecurity). And you should know by now that I’m a HUGE fan of affirmations!
Read my article, “Using Affirmations In A Way I Never Have Before.”
And also, since I’m an anal-retentive Virgo and love making lists, I’m making another one for you here! Even though I literally just made one for you above. This is a double-list extravaganza article and I’m not sorry!
I made sure that I felt all of these in my bones. And that all of these affirmations lined up with what I hope to be heading towards. I’ve NEVER set affirmations before getting on dating apps in the past. And so, I hope this will yield some positive results!
I AM WORTHY OF GREAT LOVE.
THERE IS SOMEONE OUT THERE WHO WILL WANT TO BE WITH ME FOR LIFE.
I AM DESERVING OF A LOVING PARTNER.
THERE ARE KIND MEN OUT THERE WHO I WILL ALSO BE ATTRACTED TO.
I DESERVE TO BE SO HAPPY IN MY RELATIONSHIP.
THE DATING WORLD IS A SAFE PLACE FOR ME TO ENTER.
I KNOW WHO I AM.
THE UNIVERSE SEPARATED ME FROM MY EX SO I COULD FIND THE PERSON I’M MEANT TO BE WITH.
I DESERVE TO HAVE WHAT I WANT.
YOU WILL FIND A LOVE PARTNER FOR LIFE, GUARANTEED!
So, there you have it folks! At least for now. And I feel 100% certain that I will be keeping you posted through my journey with the dating apps. Of course I will! I share practically EVERYTHING with you, so of course I’m going to share this with you as well. Thank you always for being my witness, and until next time! xo
THANK YOU FOR READING!
So, have you ever experienced looking for love on dating apps? It’s really not too terrible, and once you get used to it, it’s a very efficient way to meet people who are also looking for love. Can you share in the comments one of your dating app experiences? Worst? Best? I welcome all success and failure stories!
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Featured photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash
Feet photo by Nick Page on Unsplash
Holding hands photo by Jonathan Cooper on Unsplash