Firstly, this isn’t a post about being jobless. It’s about being single. And I’m just warning you, this might be another “please feel sorry for me” post. So I’m apologizing in advance. However, I was trying to think of a way to explain what it’s like to be perpetually single for close to two decades. And how truly wrong it feels to experience relationship scarcity for an extended period of time. So, this is what I came up with. And am asking you for a moment, to imagine that jobless-ness and single-ness are one and the same. And in this post, I’m going to break down what it might look and feel like to be jobless for 10 years. When in reality, I’m just talking about myself, and swapping out love for work. Make sense? Then, let’s go!
JOBLESS FOR 10 YEARS
Okay, so say you graduate college, and like everyone else your age, everyone is looking for a job [aka love, get it?]. And I actually did have a relationship for my last year of college and 4 years after college. However, after that relationship ended in 2006, there was a major dry period. And that was my first major relationship, so all through high school and most of college, I didn’t have any love relationships.
So, imagine looking for a job from age 28 to age 38. And no matter where you go, no matter what company you apply to, you don’t get hired. With each interview, you learn a bit more about yourself. And you actually get lots and lots of interviews. You interview really well, in fact. And many employers take you through the entire interview process, right up until just before being hired. But, for whatever reason, when it comes time to make a decision, they choose someone else.
YOU CAN GET BY, BUT IT’S NOT IDEAL
Now, it’s not like you’re broke. Even though you are jobless, you are lucky enough to have a small inheritance. Or maybe you have a good amount of savings that you can live off of. So, you’re able to pay your bills, but you’re living a super modest lifestyle. [Within this metaphor, you can replace backup savings with other sustainable, loving friend and family relationships].
So, you are okay for money and you won’t ever be homeless or starving. And you’re so grateful for the money that you do have. But, darnit, you want to have a beautiful career of your own. Like EVERYONE else around you who seems to find jobs fairly effortlessly. Even if they lose a job, they seem to be employed again within at least 6 months to a year with no trouble.
Also, you want to have a job that you can be proud of. And a place where you can learn, and grow, and expand your talents and skills. You want to contribute something to society, and essentially do what everyone else is doing. People get up and go to work every day. It’s just a thing that most people do. And honestly, working is fun! Without work, you can get super bored doing nothing all day. And your life feels like it has no purpose. Most days you wonder if you’ll ever find a job.
YOUR RESUME IS STELLAR AND IT MAKES NO SENSE
So, being jobless for 10 years often perplexes you. And it perplexes those around you, who see you as such a kick ass potential employee. You’re so smart and talented, and you have so many skills to bring to the table. Your closest loved ones are just as baffled as you are that no one will hire you after all of this time.
You keep trying and you keep going to interviews. But you really start to wonder, “What the fuck is wrong with me here?” and “Why is no one hiring me, I just really don’t understand?”
FIRED FROM YOUR JOB
Now, there was a blip in this dry spell, and after being jobless for 10 years, you finally found a job. With a company that seemed to value you as an employee. You loved working for this company, and during this time, you felt so happy and fulfilled. You felt like, “Finally, I’m normal, and I’m doing what everyone else is doing.” And most of all, you LOVED working. It was so fun and so worth the wait.
You also felt more relaxed and could finally, for the first time in 10 years, not worry about being jobless. And you realized how hard it was on your self-esteem, being jobless for 10 years. You thought you were set for life, and you started looking forward to new and hopeful possibilities within your career.
And then one day, out of nowhere, your boss called you into his office and fires you.
For the full “firing” aka breakup story, you can read, “I Lost My Dream Life 12 Days Before Christmas.”
And now, you’re back to where you were before. You’re worried about money again. And you worry that with each passing year, you become less and less employable. As you approach your 50’s and 60’s, you start to feel like time is running out. And by the time you find another job, you might be ready for retirement! So, being jobless for 10 years starts to really F with your head.
HOW DO YOU MAKE SENSE OF BEING JOBLESS FOR 10 YEARS?
It’s a tough pill to swallow to say the least. Because you’ve tried everything, and you still have no job. And you still very much want one. And no one can really help you because this is your life and your path. You’re out of ideas and out of solutions. And in your darkest moments, you start to wonder if the Universe has actually been conspiring against you. Because how else do you explain this kind of thing?
Unfortunately, there is no explanation at the moment. And this is about accepting life on life’s terms. It’s not my favorite thing to do, and I’m really bad at it. But, what are my options at the moment?
Luckily, as a goddess-in-the-making, I’ve come to a place in my life where I’m not blaming myself anymore. And I’m not equating my singleness with my unlovability. Thank The Goddesses I don’t feel that way anymore. And now it’s just accepting my current circumstances. And it sucks. However, I thank you for listening, as always!
So, is there a dream, wish, or desire you have had for most of your life and it just hasn’t happened yet? Do you struggle to keep the faith? And do you plan to keep trying until you can’t try anymore (aka death). I still think that’s my current plan for now, but we’ll have to see how much stamina I have! xo
The Goddess Attainable and The Hot Goddess meeting up in real life for the very first time!
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Featured photo by Olya /Voloshka on Unsplash
Jar of change photo by Josh Appel on Unsplash
Woman walking photo by Filip Mroz on Unsplash