IT’S TIME TO LET MY EX GO, FOR REAL

It’s going on almost five months now since I Lost My Dream Life 12 Days Before Christmas when my ex broke up with me. And I’ve been working through my grief in such a positive way. I have reached a point where I can go a few days without crying, can experience utter joy, and feel hope for the future. However, over the last week, I was starting to feel more intense sadness about him. Sadness I hadn’t felt since the very beginning of my grieving process. And I started to wonder if this was possibly him and not me. I’ll explain more below. And so, even though there’s a huge part of me that doesn’t want to, I realized yesterday that I need to let my ex go at a much deeper level. And this involves mustering up the courage to do a cord cutting.

WHAT IS A CORD CUTTING?

Cord cutting is essentially a way to energetically release someone, even and especially if you are not in their physical presence. You can perform a cord cutting with a deceased loved one. Or, you can perform it with an ex, with someone you haven’t seen in 20 years, or with a co-worker whom you see every day.

The idea behind a cord cutting is that we are all energetic beings. And we all have the potential to latch onto each other’s energies in a negative way. It’s the nature of being human and existing in a body. If you believe in aura’s and energy fields, then this kind of goes along with that.

Have you ever felt totally fine, and then all of a sudden, a person you know walks into a room, and your stomach tightens up? This could mean that your power has been compromised by this person. The solar plexus chakra is in your gut/abdominal region, and is associated with your personal power, confidence, and boundaries.

Cord cuttings can be very formal and intense, or can be more relaxed and organic, like the one I performed yesterday.

FIRST STEP

Establish an imaginary or meditative closeness with the person you are wanting to cut cords with. You can imagine them sitting across from you. Or, you can do what I did, and imagine them walking beside you out in nature. As long as you can imagine that they are with you in the moment, that is best.

You also want to try to tap into where in your body this person is latched on. And it’s helpful to imagine a cord of some kind connecting you to this area of your body. For instance, if you feel like this person is holding on too tightly to your heart, or you are holding on too tightly to theirs, you can imagine a cord connected at your chest centers.

The cord can look like whatever makes sense for you. For some reason, my cords always look like bungee cords.

SECOND STEP

Have a conversation with this person. This is not a fight or a discussion. And the person you are “summoning” is just there to listen and be there. Imagine that this is a conversation between your higher selves. And your higher self is telling their higher self what you need and how you feel. Then, you simply spill your guts to them.

THIRD STEP

This exercise is not really about venting to them (that’s what blog posts and unsent emails are for!). But, it’s more about setting a boundary and ultimately readying yourself to say goodbye. So, keep this in mind when you are “conversing” with them. And get to a point where you ask them to let you go. Or, you tell them that you need to let them go. Do this with love, always.

FOURTH STEP

Symbolically let them go. And it’s often helpful to imagine you, or them, or both of you, cutting the cord that attaches you. This can actually be really emotional. And you may find that some cords are really fat and tough to cut. Others just require a quick and easy snip.

I actually didn’t do the whole cord thing on my cord cutting yesterday, but didn’t feel the need to. For me, the conversation was enough.

After, you should start to feel released, and lighter, and more open. You may also notice strange things happen after a cord cutting. The person might actually reach out to you, which may bring about closure. Or, you may find that you just never have heavy thoughts about them ever again.

YESTERDAY, I LET MY EX GO AT A DEEPER LEVEL

I really hadn’t planned on doing a cord cutting when I left for my walk yesterday. But, I had been feeling a lot of heaviness this week with regards to him. And I started to wonder if this was actually maybe a bit of him holding onto me. I know that sounds strange, and I have NO idea what he’s thinking or feeling at this point. But, because I have been feeling like I have been moving through my grief process fairly well, I really wondered if it was him. Because it was really strange how all of a sudden I was thinking about him way more than normal. And missing him in ways I haven’t missed him in months.

So, for whatever reason, I attributed this to the possibility that he may be struggling to let go of me in some way. And that a loving cord cutting might help me move on with my life. And may help him move on as well.

OUR ONE-SIDED CONVO

I can’t exactly recall, word for word, what I said to him yesterday. But, I imagined him walking next to me, as he had done many times in reality. And I just started talking. With the intention of letting him go. It was quite emotional. But it was lovely to shed tears in the presence of my tree and bird friends. Who better to witness this profound release of soul connection? I will do my best to remember, but I’m kind of paraphrasing here.

“Mike: I know this is hard for you. And of course, it’s hard for me too. But, I need and want to find someone to love me. And I need to find someone who I can love. I deserve this, and I deserve to be happy. And I know you know that. And I can’t find him, and he can’t find me, if you are still holding on. I’m not mad at you, and I don’t want you to be sad. And I love you, even though you hurt me. I loved you from the beginning, and I will always love you. Because you’re pretty fucking great. Yes, you have your flaws, but so do I. And none of that matters, because I love you. But, it’s time to let me go.”

-Thursday, May 5, 2022

I FELT LIGHTER AFTER I LET MY EX GO

Yeah, there were hella tears. I wasn’t sobbing in public, but there was definitely a steady stream down my cheeks. And that’s okay. That means it worked. And this might not be the end of the letting go process. But, it was a step in the right direction.

It was good for me to declare my worth. And it felt really good to express my love to him in that moment. Because I’ve been so fucking angry at him these last few months. And during our “chat,” I felt like I reached some forgiveness. You know you’ve forgiven someone when you realize there’s actually nothing to forgive. And none of that other shit matters. Only love.

Read my related blog post, “I Think I’ve Entered The Anger Stage Of Grief,” and “4 Steps To Forgiveness.”

I’m grateful to be able to use such a powerful tool in my healing process. And I’ve used this MANY times in my past, so I know it works! I enjoyed the rest of my walk yesterday. And even had a crazy run-in with a massively loud crow. I was actually replaying my words to my ex in my mind, when a crow above me started SCREAMING at me. I looked up, and could barely see him, the sun was so bright. And just as I passed below him, he released from his perch, and flew over my head, off and away. I imagine he took my message with him, and delivered it to the appropriate party.

THANK YOU FOR READING!

So, have you ever done a cord cutting before? Isn’t this a fab idea to let my ex go at a deeper level? Do you have someone in your life who you think is energetically latched onto you? Or perhaps, you are latched onto them? Let me know your cord cutting, releasing stories! You know I would love to hear all about them! xo

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PHOTO CREDITS

Scissors photo by Anton Darius on Unsplash

Crow photo by Raghav Srikanth on Unsplash