Loss is loss, and it doesn’t exactly matter what form it takes. And even though I’m surviving the loss of my romantic relationship, just two months after he broke up with me, I’m still grieving hard core. And for whatever reason, I have been finding that making beautiful art about the death of my mother is really helping. Perhaps the sadness I’m feeling about losing my ex is bringing up unchecked emotions about the loss of my mother. Or, perhaps I just need a new way to grieve the loss of Mike, and making loss-related art about my mother is helping move those emotions along.
MAKING BEAUTIFUL ART
There’s something transformative about taking our darkest feelings, and turning them into something beautiful. If I took those feelings, and just expressed ugly gunk on a page, I don’t believe I would feel the same kind of healing. Making something beautiful out of something that feels terrible, is what has always given me such hope. I think that is why art exists in the world.
I share more about this in my article, “4 Ways To Create Meaningful Art.”
LOVE IS WEIRD

I absolutely love this line in Hunger Games: Catching Fire. She’s so right, and it’s so true.
I never really cried when my mother passed away. I burst into sobbing tears once, a week before she passed. Because my sister and I were visiting her, and I could tell it was the end. The impatient aid was also force-feeding her, even though my mother was trying her best to eat. But she had liver cancer and zero appetite. So, I asked the aid to leave, and instead gently fed her, at her speed. However, she began vomiting up her food, and my twin sister came instantly to the rescue. She knows I’m not very good with bodily function messes. I then retreated to the bathroom and weeped hysterically over the sadness of it all. And those were the only tears I shed, initially.
I cried for a moment when I got the phone call that she had passed. I was on a subway train headed to work, early in the morning, five days before Christmas. And I grabbed my things (I had baked goods and gifts for my co-workers), and rushed off the train at the stop that was not mine. I believe I whimpered for a moment on the platform. Then, I switched trains and headed straight back home.
And I randomly welled up when we returned to her nursing home to gather her things. I wasn’t emotional for the whole morning. But, for some reason, when one of the aids who was always kind to my mother, apologized to us for our loss, my eyes burned with bittersweetness.
I didn’t cry for a long time after that. Not when we were picking out her urn. And not when I was standing next to her dead body, saying good-bye. No, the next time I cried about her, was shortly after I began dating Mike. We were playing Scrabble and an Elton John song came on. This reminded me of my mother, and I burst into tears. And as he held me, I remember thinking how amazingly natural his arms felt around me.

Mom Haiku 2, mixed media on paper, 2022, image and words dimensions 3 ½” x s 2 ½”, paper dimensions 12” x 9” © Libby Saylor
MOM ART
I’ve been making beautiful art about my mother since college. This was during a time when I first learned how to channel my emotions into my creativity. And once I discovered this ability, I just had so much to explore, and heal, and process.
Here are the first works of art I made about my mother in college, when she was alive.
Now, making art about her doesn’t exactly have the same sting that it used to have. The art-making actually stung much more when she was alive. Because when she was alive, she was still wreaking a bit of havoc in my life. Today, four years after her passing, the emotions are so much more subtle. If I’m being honest, they’re actually barely there, unless I actively tap into them. And losing Mike, and having my broken heart split wide open, I believe has unearthed deeper grief-related emotions about my mother.
At the same time, I can’t help but acknowledge the coincidental timing of it all. I did make beautiful art about my mother, right after she passed as well. These works of art are called Death Collages, and they were a fantastic tool to get up all of the initial grief gunk. However, I haven’t made any art about my mother since then. Until now, just after experiencing the greatest romantic heartbreak of my life.
As I said, er, as Johanna Mason from the Hunger Games said, love is weird. And grief is even weirder.

Mom Haiku 6, mixed media on paper, 2022, image and words dimensions 4 ½” x 2” paper dimensions 12” x 9” © Libby Saylor
I don’t know why, but I can’t seem to bring myself to make art about Mike. Perhaps it’s too fresh. Or perhaps, the pain actually doesn’t run as deep as my mother-related pain. Either way, my mother has always been my muse. And making beautiful art about her has always been my way. I must thank her for being so inspirational. And I hope you enjoy viewing this work, as much as I have enjoyed making it!

Mom Haiku 5, mixed media on paper, 2022, image and words dimensions 3 ½” x 2 ½” paper dimensions 12” x 9” © Libby Saylor

Mom Haiku 11, mixed media on paper, 2022, image and words dimensions 2 ½” x 2 ½” paper dimensions 12” x 9”
To view this entire body of work, you can visit my art website at https://www.libbysaylor.com/mom-haikus.html.
THANK YOU FOR READING/VIEWING!
How do you process your grief? The energy and feelings have to go somewhere, so where do you place them? Have you experienced a recent loss? If so, I’m so sorry! And what are you doing to take care of your dear self? Much love to you! xo
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PHOTO CREDITS
Featured photo, Mom Haiku 3, mixed media on paper, 2022, image and words dimensions 2 ½” x 2 ½”, paper dimensions 12” x 9” © Libby Saylor
Love is weird gif obtained here
Who knows why we grieve the way we do? I think everyone is different. My mom lived a decade longer than my dad, and her dementia progressed to the point where she mixed up me with him in her last couple of years. That was one one of the things that was hardest for me to witness because they truly loved each other for over 50 years. It made me sad that she couldn’t remember him.
Thank you for sharing that. Yes, everyone has their own heartbreak and everyone’s is a bit different but no less challenging. It’s hard to make sense of such sad things. I just keep thinking “This too shall pass” and hopefully it will! ❤️🩹🌺
Beautiful art, words, and healing, Libby 💜💜💜. The power of creating is transformative. Hugs XO
The mom haikus are so lovely. Beautiful art. ♥️
Lots and lots of love. ❤️
Thank u thank u I’m so glad u like ☺️🙏🌺
Beautiful artwork.
Thank u ☺️🌺
Libby, this was such a beautiful, heart-felt dedication to your muse, your mother. I think about how fragile the relationship between mother and daughter is and I can’t help but fear being seen as something I am not to Charlotte when she grows up. I don’t have a close relationship with my mom but your post reminds me that maybe I need to revisit making more of an effort now…
I haven’t personally dealt with a lot of grief of a passed family member (just my grandfather a few years ago) but I reckon I’m someone who compartmentalizes well. I use a lot of distractions and when I can’t tamper it down any more, I tend to split open and that’s generally when I discover the most healing.
Loved seeing your art work. I wouldn’t worry about what the lack of inspiration for making art re: healing towards Mike… I would just take it day by day. I know you’re doing the best you can and that’s really all you can do!
Thanks so much for your words Jen. Yeah, the mother daughter dynamic is so layered because it’s two women! And we’re so multi-faceted. I’m sure like most girls Charlotte might go through a phase of not seeing you how you really are, because she’ll be trying to figure out who she really is. But then as we all get older, I think we let a lot of things go, and in the end you just want to appreciate who you have. And that goes for mothers and daughters as well. She’s lucky to have a mom like you who really cares 💖💖💖 I love your self-awareness about how you split open, and maybe that’s just your way. I wonder what your zodiac sign is, I’m dying to know 🤔 sorry if you already told me and I forgot! Thank u also for your supportive words about my art. I agree, we’re all just doing our best at the end of the day and that’s gotta be enough!! ☺️😘🌺❤️🩹
Thank you for your kind words 🙂 I am an Aries (we’ve never discussed this :)).. if you had to guess, what would you have guessed? I feel like I fit the Aries profile quite exactly LOL… fiery, intense, a bit nuts, hard (as in loves hard) and never forgets! lol… What sign are you?
Honestly Aries doesn’t surprise me based on your vibe 🔥 🔥 Firey and kinda tough love on the outside but very giving and very active. I’m a Virgo 😬
After losing my husband of twenty years I cried, worried about whether I was grieving him correctly and then I started a blog on being gay and grieving. Channeling my sadness in this way was one of the things that kept me sane. Thanks for a truthful and thought-provoking blog.
Thank you so much for sharing this and I’m so sorry for your loss 💔❤️🩹 I love that you turned to blogging as a way to heal your heart and sort through all of these tremendous emotions. I just started following you and look forward to reading about your journey! And thank you for your kind words 💖☺️