This original article was written specifically for the lovely, the generous, the dynamic lifewithlilred, who put a call out for New Year’s guest bloggers. I so enjoyed writing for her page, and I just love connecting with other bloggers. Please check out her site when you have a chance and follow her like I do! PS She’s got the best hair in the biz!
[This article is not an advertisement for Danielle LaPorte, and I am not sponsored by her or anyone. However, her Desire Mapping process is integral to my recent experiences with regards to my desires for 2021, so I will share details about her program throughout this article.]
My first experience with Danielle LaPorte’s Desire Mapping was back in 2014, spending time with my twin sister, in her living room, with two other acquaintances. At the time, none of us knew, but this initial one-day experience would be the foundation that later formed our tribe (spiritual friend group).
My twin sister was the glue that initially merged this delicate synergy of humans, and it was she who initiated this Desire Mapping exercise, surrounded by delicious food, cozy blankets, and four loving beings. One other precious tribe member would join us one year later and would also become my best friend in the whole world. Our tribe now consists of five talented, gifted, intuitive, sensitive, powerful, authentic, individual people, all trusting and sharing our lives with one another on a regular basis. It’s a true gift to have found a group like this, and our first Desire Mapping experience in 2014 was the beginning of this miraculous union of souls.
LaPorte’s Desire Mapping program is essentially a powerful workbook that invites you to brainstorm about your deepest soul desires. Page by page, question by question, you move through the workbook until you have zeroed in on your deepest “Core Desired Feelings” or “CDFs,” and have compressed these feelings into three to five power words. If you approach this map work with an open heart and a genuine desire to uncover your deepest Core Desired Feelings, these buzz words will make you feel goose bumps when you say them, and will ultimately resonate with your soul.
The Goddess Attainable’s Desire Mapping workbook ca. 2014. Core Desired Feelings: Kindredness, Shakti-Shiva, Precious Pearl, and Dripping Beauty. At the time, I didn’t even really know what these words meant, but they felt magical when I said them, and I knew I just wanted more of whatever was promised within them.
Your Core Desired Feelings are your own and there is no wrong way to do this, as long as you are being honest with yourself. This exercise can be done individually or in a group, but I have personally found that sharing these precious words with other trusting souls is much more powerful. It’s important to have witnesses to your experience, and to support and witness others’ experiences as well.
DESIRE MAPPING 2.0
By 2020, our tribe had begun to meet regularly, once a year for a weekend getaway. However, due to the pandemic, our most recent Tribal Council was held virtually. My twin sister had the brilliant idea of revisiting our Desire Maps and re-doing the workbook with fresher eyes and more expanded souls. Also, our fifth and final tribe member had never experienced the initial magic, so we were excited to include him on this journey.
Left: Virtual setup for Tribal Council 2020. Right: The Goddess Attainable finding her happy place before a day of electronic overload.
Our tribe had all gone through the workbook before meeting this time, and our plan was to share bits and pieces of our brainstorming process, and conclude by sharing our individual, newly revamped, updated 2020 CDFs with each other. However, things did not go according to plan.
It turns out that doing lots of spiritual work, sharing deep and vulnerable feelings with one another, in a safe a cozy setting with blankets and tea is super powerful and also super fun! However, trying to do this virtually is a bit more life-sucking, draining, and is ultimately, quite overwhelming. Our tribe ran out of steam before we were ever able to share our CDFs with one another, and the group voted to table this whole exercise for another time.
I waited patiently for months and months until the group as a whole decided it was ready to re-open this Mapping dance. I was so excited about my new CDFs and dying to share them with my tribe members. I felt like my power words couldn’t come alive until I shared them out loud, and keeping them to myself was like being asked to sit on my hands indefinitely with my body covered in mosquito bites. Okay, it wasn’t quite that bad, but I was impatient to say the least.
I eventually let go of the whole struggle and began to truly trust that if the group was not ready to share in this way, there must be a more divine reason for this. And my trusting paid off, because one of our tribe members finally suggested, kind of out of nowhere, that we all share our CDFs as a way to celebrate the New Year. What a brilliant idea, and much better timing than sharing them when we were all exhausted and spiritually spent from our Tribal Council months earlier.
Our tribe met around 4pm on New Year’s Eve, 2020, and we shared our CDFs with one another. It was a beautiful and divine experience for all, as always.
After any kind of spiritual gathering, of course, it’s always good to ground yourself with some chocolate, so I made sure to do that…
New Year’s Eve, 2020
THE GODDESS ATTAINABLE’S 2021 CORE DESIRED FEELINGS
HOW THE UNIVERSE MANIFESTS OUR DESIRES
I have found in life, that often when I ask for something, it comes to me when the time is right, and in the form The Universe deems most appropriate. Dreams and desires do not manifest in the way I always imagine, or even want, and they almost never just land in my lap.
For instance, say I desire more love in my life. If I put my wish out there into the world, it may come in the form of a challenge at work. Perhaps I experience a situation where I am called to stand up for myself with a colleague. This may be the gift, the miracle, the desire manifested, even though at the time, I may easily feel victimized and hurt by an experience like this. However, me standing up for myself at work is a form of self-love, and love arrives in all forms. It may not have been a puppy dog wrapped in blankets, left in a cuddly basket on my doorstep, but rather, it came in the form of an experience or incident that invited me to choose love in that moment.
Manifestation is a divine collaboration. When we ask for something, we really do need to meet The Universe halfway. It’s not about punishment, or even earning our desires. It’s just the way the Universe works. If we want to truly feel love in our bodies, we need to experience it in our bones; and navigating real-life, un-planned situations, is one of the most effective ways to absorb new and higher energy from The Universe. We work our manifested desires into our lives, piece by piece, one experience at a time, until they finally become part of us. This is the reality of manifestation, and it truly works, if we know how to work it.
I always think of this when I think about the idea of meeting The Universe halfway. The Creation of Adam, detail, Michelangelo, Sistine Chapel
Ever since I shared my CDFs with my tribe, I have been noticing their presence showing up in my life in some rather blatant ways. This past week, FLOW, one of my Core Desired Feelings, made multiple appearances, but not in the way I had hoped or imagined.
Let me explain a bit about my desire for more FLOW in life. I am a controlling person. I like things neat and orderly. I am an anal-retentive Virgo and like when things go according to plan. I am not a go-with-the-FLOW person. Contained within this word are all of my desires to achieve more FLOW in my life. I want to go with the FLOW of events and circumstances. I want to jump in the river of life and see where the FLOW takes me. I want to FLOW within my body and feel more relaxed states of energy, as I open my stiff joints and release all of the tightness and tension. I want to shrug my shoulders when things go wrong and just move on in a relaxed and FLOW-forward kind of way.
This week, I was given challenges that were seemingly tailor-made for me, in an effort to integrate some more FLOW into my life. The Universe found the most open and vulnerable (maybe even fragile) parts of me, where there were some cracks in the surface, and infiltrated at just the right moment.
Light enters most efficiently through the cracks in our armor, and our job is to simply let the light in.
I shared my desires with The Universe (and my beloved tribe), and The Universe responded in kind. I could have chosen to believe I was a victim of the following circumstances, but instead, I chose to recognize the gift of FLOW that I was being invited to receive.
I won’t get into the gruesome details with this one, and I will certainly spare you the pictures (I didn’t take any). Needless to say, I am a very clean person, and I hate when my bathroom and/or my toilet are not perfectly clean and functioning properly. Hate it. But during this week, the toilet was not working or functioning properly, and I was unable to get it working in a timely manner.
My partner took time away from his clients (he is a therapist and works from home) to come down and try to assist. He spent a good thirty minutes attempting to rectify the situation, and it soon became clear to us both, that this situation was unrectifyable (I often make up words as I go, but all of my word inventions are words that I think should already exist).
Just to give you an idea of how difficult this was for me, while my partner was in the bathroom, trying his best to fix the problem, I was out in the living room, lying on the floor, curled up in a ball, trying not to vomit. Not kidding. There was utter trauma coursing through my veins, and I was doing my best just not to lose it. Yeah, that’s how I get when it comes to this kind of thing.
However, something within me decided to handle things differently this time. Just before my partner emerged from the bathroom, I unfurled myself from my trauma ball and rose feebly to my feet, bracing myself for bad news. He let me know that he had to return to work and told me that he would not be available to help for another few hours. I was stuck and left on my own to try to fix the issue, and more importantly, I needed to use the bathroom…SOON! But I was determined to do things differently this time.
WAYS IN WHICH I WENT WITH THE FLOW DURING THIS ENTIRE DRAMA:
- When my partner came out of the bathroom to let me know that he was unable to fix the problem and had to return to work, I said, “Okay, I’ll figure it out, thank you for trying.” Whaaa????!!! Never in a million years would I typically respond this way, but I did.
- During this time, I must note, that I was actually incorporating another one of my CDF’s into the whole situation, and was truly asking in every moment, “What would a GODDESS do?” A goddess would not have a tantrum, that’s for sure.
- Remember, I had to use the bathroom at this point, so that was my most pressing concern. I contemplated going to a convenient store, but not my favorite option. Instead, I contacted a friend who lives near me, asked to use her bathroom, and took her up on her offer to lend me her toilet auger. During the whole drive, I remained calm and just continued to tell myself, “Tomorrow will be better.”
- On the way home, I took it upon myself to make a make a pit stop at Home Depot to pick up something that might be helpful and contribute to the solution.
- I got home and thought I could sit around and wait for my partner to finish work and then have him take care of the issue (just being in the bathroom at this point, still made me kind of nauseous), or I could try to tackle this problem myself, like a badass GODDESS who knows how to go with the FLOW.
- I called my brother-in-law, who just happens to know everything about plumbing, and asked him how to use the tools I was attempting to use.
- Within a few disgusting, traumatic, horror-filled, yet relatively calm minutes, I had fixed the toilet, all by myself, and I didn’t even vomit in my mouth!
After some reflection on the situation, I even recognized the uncanny combination of events. I literally and metaphorically had unstuck a blocked FLOW within myself and my home. Again, this is the way The Universe works. I want more FLOW in my life, right? Well, FLOW doesn’t just come to me in an instant, like a flash of lightening. I have to experience it in my body by being given opportunities to flex that atrophied FLOW muscle. I experienced more FLOW by being presented with a challenge to bring about this quality within me.
Next challenge (aka invitation to receive)…
For the last several weeks, I have been attempting to DETOX FROM THE HOLIDAYS, and it’s been going swimmingly. An integral part of my detox efforts has been a blender that I bought for myself as a Christmas present. I have needed a blender for so long and can’t believe I have lived this long without one. I have been making soups and smoothies galore, and it has been a super fun part of my strict detox regimen.
That all ended several days ago…
There’s no explanation. The blender glass was wet and it slipped off the counter when my back was turned, and I was powerless over its destruction. In those moments, what can one do?
I could have cried. I could have pouted. I could have cursed (okay, I definitely cursed). But I didn’t cry and I didn’t pout. I went with the FLOW. It’s a blender. It happens. Things break. Things that I just bought and that I really love just break. It sucks, but what was I going to do? I cleaned up the broken pieces of glass and went on with my day.
I considered going out and buying a brand new blender, but that seemed silly to me. I just bought this! And I don’t need a blender, I just need the glass. I looked online to see if I could order replacement glass for the blender, and the exact kind of glass I need is on backorder with no estimated date of arrival. Another invitation to FLOW. Again, what can I do? What would a GODDESS do? She would pivot. She would adjust. So that’s what I did. And it made for a more FLOW-y existence.
I decided, “Whelp, I have all this fruit in my refrigerator that I planned to make for daily smoothies. I guess instead I will just have a bowl of fruit salad. Every day. Indefinitely. Until my elusive blender glass arrives someday. Just go with it. It’s no biggie.”
My final invitation to FLOW this week was initiated by moi, and beginning Friday afternoon when I had completed my work tasks for the day, I made a point to just veg out on the couch, give myself a break, and relax. I often feel pressure to produce, produce, produce. Creative people struggle with this often, and I am constantly dancing between my urges to feed the fires of desire within my belly, and my intuitive understanding of my need for rest.
Ultimately, I heeded my body. At the end of this long, challenging, and educational week, I simply enjoyed the FLOW of spreading my limbs out on my couch while mindlessly watching the Kardashians and their Los Angeles shenanigans.
For most of my life, I have always wished for love. Not puppy love or self-love, although those kinds of loves are great, but rather, true love. In 2018, I was blessed with finding this special true love, and over the last 2 ½ years, I have found myself in a position of needing new things to desire.
It’s an amazing thing when our wishes come true, but the party doesn’t stop there. Dreams and desires are what keep us moving as humans. New desires keep coming once we achieve our goals. That doesn’t make us greedy or selfish, it just makes us participants in life.
One of the best ways to remind us that we are alive, is to check in with ourselves on a regular basis and revisit our desires. This keeps them present and active, and keeps us aligned with our authentic selves.
At the strong urging of two of my tribe members who were already hooked on this Desire Map Planner, I caved and finally bought one for myself this year.
I resisted this planner for a long time because there is something a bit burdensome about carrying my desires around with me all of the time. If I never desire anything, I never have to be let down, right? However, if I never dare to dream, I may never reach my life’s full potential.
Living my dreams doesn’t have to be scary or profound. Living out my dream today looks like smashed blender glass on the kitchen floor. It looks like a stopped-up toilet. And finding my true love didn’t look like a romantic comedy, but rather a really nice date with a really nice guy who had beautiful eyes and a smile that lit up the entire restaurant.
Living our dreams just kind looks like life. But we can truly be the ruler of our lives if we can just muster up the courage to admit that we do have a bit of an idea of how we might like our lives to go, and what we might want to feel like along the way. We aren’t allowed to dictate how those dreams arrive, but we can certainly make ourselves available to The Universe’s wisdom, and open ourselves to receive The Universe’s offerings. Our dream lives will follow. We all deserve this right, and we are all capable of walking this path.
I wish you so much luck, love, and happiness on your journey, and want to thank you so much for allowing me to share just a piece of mine with you.