I know I recently declared that I’m now taking a deep dive into the dating apps. Since I was dumped a few months ago, and was feeling more ready to give dating a try. And I’m not saying I’m swearing off dating apps forever. I haven’t had terrible experiences since I got back on the apps. And there’s really no reason why I’m feeling inspired to put the apps down already. Other than the fact that I JUST DON’T WANT TO DATE RIGHT NOW. I’m just not feeling interested in men, or relationships, or romance, or sex, or flirting, or dating, or any of that stuff. Not at all. And it’s kind of wigging me out. Because this is all I’ve ever been interested in, ever. Since I was five years old! And this is the first time I’m really interested in things other than men.
Read my recent post, “I’m Back On The Dating Apps And I’m Optimistic.”
I mean, don’t get me wrong, I have a ton of other interests. And I’ve always lived a very rich and vibrant life, regardless of whether or not a man was around. But, this is the first time that I’m just not focused on a man. Or finding a man, or pursuing a man. I’m just interested in me, and my life, and all the ways in which I can make it more beautiful than it already is. And this is just so new for me.
RELATIONSHIPS WITH FAMILY AND FRIENDS
Other than men, I’m now focusing so much more on my family and friend relationships.
Okay, so this is nothing new for me. However, back when I was single and desperate for a love relationship, I don’t think I fully valued my existing relationships. I was always sad when I would be visiting with loved ones. Because I didn’t have a partner by my side. How crazy is that?! And in actuality, the people that have been with me through most of my life, were with me to help me through my breakup. And are still with me, now that it’s all over. So, why oh why in the world would I ever want to take those relationships for granted, ever again?
I was never the kind of person to drop my family or friends once I found a love partner. Not at all. However, I do recall how I felt when I would spend time with them as a single person. And now that I’m newly single again, yet older and wiser, I can feel the difference. I can feel myself showing up for these relationships in a new way. With such love and gratitude for their existence in my life. And I am in no way now overlapping my time spent with loved ones, with that feeling of missing something.
My beautiful friends and I took a long weekend getaway trip at the end of February, to just be together, and we basically ate junk food until we couldn’t see straight! I feel grateful every day that I have them in my life.
IMPROVING MY CABLE TELEVISION, YOUTUBE, NETFLIX, HULU, AND HBO BINGING GAME
Not gonna lie. This has been a hugely enjoyable thing to focus on, other than men. I have absolutely no guilt and no shame about it at all. And over this past weekend, other than spending beautiful time with my sister and brother-in-law, on both Saturday and Sunday, I binged-watched Better Things. And it was sooooo nice!
I am past the point of feeling guilty about being a couch potato. And I also don’t know any human being who has survived the last two years in tact, and does not indulge in couch potato-ism. The pandemic gave couch potato-ism a solid place in the world of self-care tools. And I don’t think anyone feels ashamed anymore about their need to decompress via vegging. At least, I certainly hope not. Because there is true and cathartic healing in finding something mindless and entertaining to take your mind off of things. And when you can find forms of entertainment that make you laugh, no matter what they are, you are really feeding your soul a dose of spiritual medicine.
NEW CREATIVE PROJECTS
Other than men, I’m focusing on some new projects. And I don’t want to give too much away, because they are in baby stages. However, I can let you know that I signed up for a class to learn more about the art of tarot reading. Lindsay Mack is the creator of Tarot For The Wild Soul. And in addition to her podcast, which I love, she’s also a gifted teacher. I signed up for my first course with her and it’s self-paced, so I’m making my way through it slowly but surely. I have so much to learn, and I absolutely love drinking it up!
I will also share that I’ve been taking a stab at a book for a few years now. Gulp. And I don’t want to make any promises, but I may or may not be starting to take it a bit more seriously. Just today in fact, I started looking into some writing workshops that I can sign up for. In order to get some guidance about the process. It’s quite overwhelming. And while I do have confidence in my writing, and I DEFINITELY have confidence in what I have to share, I’m still not very sure about the writing world. And would love some support. Wish me luck!
Of course, I continue with this blog, my absolute baby. And as far as I know, that’s not going anywhere. As well as my beloved Goddess Attainable Podcast, that is much more free-flowing and organic. Meaning, I don’t really know what I’m doing with it yet, and just release episodes whenever I’m feeling inspired to.
MAKING PLANS FOR THE COMING MONTHS
I feel so inspired to do so many things in the coming months. That perhaps I may not have done when I was in a relationship. Or, even if I would have done these things while partnered up, I can really dive deep into them now, without giving thought to another person’s preferences and needs. Which I never minded, really. But, it’s just different.
Other than men, I really enjoy focusing on these things right now, and it gives me a lot of joy to look forward to these upcoming affairs.
MY FAMILY AND I WILL BE TAKING OUR ANNUAL VACATION AT THE JERSEY SHORE IN JUNE
I WANT TO TAKE A SOLO TRIP TO MONTANA, TO CELEBRATE ME! I HAVEN’T PLANNED THIS YET, BUT IT’S COMING
I’LL BE GOING WITH MY CLOSE FRIENDS TO THE HARRY POTTER EXHIBITION AT THE FRANKLIN INSTITUTE
I WILL BE SPENDING AN ARTS AND CULTURE DAY WITH MY FATHER AND SISTER, VISITING THE BARNES FOUNDATION AND GRABBING LUNCH
I WILL ABSOLUTELY MAKE A TRIP TO SEE MY BEST FRIEND IN NYC. I HAVEN’T BEEN THERE SINCE LAST YEAR AND IT’S GOING TO HAPPEN SOON!
MY SISTER AND I PLAN TO TAKE OUR FIRST “MOM DAY” TRIP FOR MOTHER’S DAY, SINCE BEFORE THE PANDEMIC HIT. WE USED TO TAKE REGULAR “MOM DAYS” TOGETHER, EVER SINCE MOM’S PASSING IN 2017, AS A WAY TO HONOR HER. AND WE HAD TO STOP THIS TRADITION SEVERAL YEARS AGO. THIS WILL BE LOVELY TO RESTART THIS RITUAL, AND WE ARE BOTH LOOKING FORWARD TO IT.
MY FRIEND’S PARTNER GOT TICKETS TO HIS UNCLE’S VIP BOX AT THE PHILADELPHIA FLYERS HOCKEY GAME, AND WE’RE ALL INVITED. I’M SO FREAKING EXCITED FOR THIS ONE!
There’s also a lot more happening, but these are the big highlights that I thought I would share.
Beautiful Montana
GETTING BETTER AT PUTTING ON MAKEUP
Several months back, I created a post called, “My Soul Crumpled A Little When I Tried Wearing Makeup.” And wow, I’ve come a long way since then. I now absolutely LOVE trying on, wearing, playing with, and learning about new makeup. It’s so creative and such a fun expression, if I don’t take myself too seriously with it. Which I don’t.
I can’t say this takes up a lot of my time. But, it’s an amazing thing to focus on, other than men. And it actually takes up a fair amount of mental space, which I don’t mind. I love thinking about makeup. Like, actually daydreaming about it. And I still love watching my YouTube influencers whom I follow and am perpetually inspired by. They are constantly changing, but for right now, I’m loving:
CATE THE GREAT BEAUTY
SPEED BEAUTY BY CAROLINE BARNES
ALEXA CHAN
REDOING MY BEDROOM
This one I have saved for last, for several reasons. For one, I’m a bit emotional about it and not all that excited about. And two, I’m not sure how it’s going to go, and I don’t want to share too much yet. I also don’t think I will document this on my Instagram or anything, because it just feels too private at this time. I shared a reel about it several weeks ago, and I may do more. But, I’m not committing to anything at this point. The task itself is so overwhelming, and documenting it would just make it that much more difficult, I think.
So, I will be focusing on, other than men, the task of redoing my bedroom. Now that my ex has fully moved out, the bedroom has a few empty spaces. It may require me to purchase some new things. But, for now, I will just start with doing what I can, and moving things around, before I bring anything new in. I’m really taking my time with this, because it feels really hard. So, this is another reason why I don’t really feel up to documenting it. But, it’s something I really want to do, so I may or may not let you know about it as I move along!
THAT’S ALL FOR NOW FOLKS!
So, that about does it for now. Other than men, I’m so glad I have so many other beautiful and inspiring things to focus on. And honestly, it’s not like I’m focusing on these things to keep myself from focusing on men. It’s actually more like, I’m just not focusing on men, because I don’t want to, and I really don’t care right now. I’m just way more interested in the magic above. And I’m going to ride this wave and see where it takes me, you know? You know I’ll be letting you know how things go!
THANK YOU FOR READING
So, have you ever had a time in your life where your go-to thing to focus on just wasn’t cutting it anymore? Or, have you ever gone through a major life change, such as a breakup, that just made you reassess everything? What is your weakness, historically? That thing that just consumes you at times, and maybe not in a good way? This could be work, or your appearance, money, or maybe like me, romantic love. And what do you focus on other than that thing, to bring you back into balance?
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All sounds great! A combination of spending time with old passions while embracing new ones. My wife and I are heading to Montana in two weeks. Our son has lived there the past 3+ years. While it’s a fair jog, from California, we’re retired and have the freedom to do things like this when the spirit moves. At the beginning of May, I’m taking the Springer brother tour and spending a little bit of time hanging out with each of my three older brothers. We’re spread out bigtime from New Jersey to Minnesota to Colorado and me in California. I’ve also made plans to meet up with a couple of blogging buddies. So excited!
This all sounds so fun! First, I hope you document your trips and perhaps share on your blog?!? Of course I would love to see pics of Montana especially! Your son is so lucky to live there, that’s amazing! The brother tour sounds beautiful and fulfilling. And I LOVE that you are visiting with your blogging friends as well! I have a podcasting friend in California who I’m dying to meet and must make that happen! A few questions: what part of Cali do you live in? I only ask bc I love California 🌞 And have your ever met these blogging friends before or will this be the first time? So fun!
We live in Eureka, which is about 100 miles from the Oregon border. We’re right on the ocean in the heart of the redwood country. it pretty much is mild year round. Timber and fishing are the main industries here. San Franciscans refer to themselves as northern California, but they are five hours south of us. We’ve got our issues like anywhere. Crime and homelessness are plentiful, but it’s a gorgeous place to live.
Yes wow that sounds so lovely, thank you for sharing!
From personal experience, it takes a while to learn how to take time out for yourself after getting out of a relationship. You’re doing so well though so hang in there!
Thank u!!!
Keep doing what feels right for you. There’s no manual for this heart healing shit, but it seems as if you’re crafting one that I’d like to have on my reference shelf. You are tuned in to your own needs frequency, and that is so powerful. You are such a fierce goddess, Libby. Brava!
Thank u thank U! And yes this is true shit it sucks ha! I’m just doing whatever feels the least shitty in any given moment 🤣💖🙏🌺
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I loved reading this one! So many exciting things in your future, Libby! I feel like you’re on the verge (if not already) of Liberation! 😉 I love that you had your phases and you allowed yourself to accept your new reality, you allowed yourself to grieve, you allowed yourself to do whatever it is that you wanted to do guilt-free and now you’re making positive plans for the future! It sounds like an exciting time! I can’t wait to see what other adventures you embark on! 🙂
Thank you thank you Jen! Gosh I hope all this has a happy ending, but in the meantime, yes, I gotta just keep going and am so thankful to have all that I have. Thank you always for the support, I can feel you rooting for me and that means so much 😊🙏🌺
Hoo yeah, did I ever question my focus on relationships when I travelled to another country to work with a girl I barely knew. I had my priorities so wrong back then. I was just searching for the next relationships to be in without first being someone that had something to offer the relationship. Thanks for sharing your goals and plans, Libby!
Thanks for sharing that. Ugh yes, what we do for love, or the promise love. I can never blame anyone for that because it’s the noblest of pursuits and one can’t help but make an ass of him/herself at times because of it 🤣🌺
This is good to hear! You sound so much healthier <3