1. I like that you highlighted the other types of intelligence besides the way that it is traditionally viewed, which is mental intelligence. I’m sure you know brilliant people, but they maybe mental midgets when it comes to some of the other forms of intelligence you referenced. I admire those who are intelligent but down to earth. They are confident and self assured without being arrogant. They don’t act like they’re doing you a favor by having a conversation with you or have a constant need to feed their egos by showing how smart they are.

    Hidden Figures is a fabulous film! I have three older brothers (one was also a teacher) and he and I were talking the other day about girls we taught who didn’t want to be seen as smart—as if that would somehow make them less attractive to the boys. (We’re talking 6th grade) I don’t mean they purposefully missed questions on exams, but they might not raise their hand when they were the only one in class who knew an answer. They might write the most eloquent and thoughtful things in their journals but not be willing to share them in class. It was something I can never recall seeing in boys. I knew I hadn’t created that environment, but it sure made me wonder if society had taught them to act this way.

    1. Wow this is an amazing insight coming from a teacher with first-hand experience and witnessing all the behaviors. And yes, I can tell you as a young girl, our instincts were SO dialed up. And it’s kinda like we just knew if we portrayed ourselves as too smart or something that maybe the boys just wouldn’t see us in the way that we thought we wanted them to. Or even, we weren’t even interested in being the smart one because we were more concerned about being pretty or being liked by our friends. Or we fundamentally knew that this was a boys room not a girls room, so it’s just not as appropriate to join in. Wow, that is so fascinating and thank you so much for this valuable perspective. I agree with your first paragraph as well! Thank you 😊

  2. It’s funny how I always thought of myself superior because of patriarchal intelligence. 🙈 Indian society is built around promoting patriarchal intelligence. If you are good at studies and all intellectual you are treated as God. It’s only after growing up and seeing how obnoxious patriarchal intelligence can make a person (my dad – I love him) when not combined with other intelligence (verbal and emotional) that I changed my view of looking at it.
    I’ve also always been the person that got laughed at for having too many emotions – we as a society really need to start appreciating emotional intelligence. 😐

    As for religion don’t even get me started. Hinduism was ruined by male priests for all women. During our period days, we were considered “impure”. Asked to not enter temples and even homes in olden days (there used to be an outhouse for my grandmother and her sister). My mum challenged all these notions and made my sister and I do everything. So yayay to her.
    Great post as usual 😊

    1. Thank you! And first, you should feel good and proud about your patriarchal intelligence skills that’s amazing! And what a goddess you are to then consider a holistic approach to intelligence and seek that in others, yaaaaas! And yeah, I’m Definitely over the “you’re too emotional” bullshit, why is this still a thing?!? Oy. Omg your mom sounds like an amazing woman actually, and I think I would love to read a post about her?! Just an idea. You mentioned her in your real and raw article coming out and she definitely sounds like someone who tries to step outside the box despite so much resistance from others. That takes so much courage. Same as you!! AAANYway, thank you, I’m so glad you liked this. Of course I thought of you at times when I was writing it and I knew you’d get it. I was really fired up about this one! 😡

  3. Libby, Gosh darnit I love how freaking honest you are in this post… I can feel your passion and anger and I love it! You are so right in that there are so many other types of intelligence and most of them are never recognized, at least not in the way that patriarchal intelligence is celebrated!

    My husband and I are completely different types of people – where he’s logical, numbers-based and practical, I see the nuances and details in things and offer insight that he could never imagine .. and I guess that’s what makes us fit together. He doesn’t tell me often but I know he respects my level of intelligence just in his actions (asking me advice on everything from friendships to career advice). So poo-poo on your ex for being a jerk… You are an INTELLIGENT WOMAN!!!❤

    1. Thank you, thank you Jen!!! I also LOVE that your husband asks you for advice. That’s the best compliment in terms of respect, and I really would’ve loved if my ex would have done that! Which is why it’s a good thing that he’s gone! And that I’m onto bigger and better and nicer ❤️‍🩹 Thank you also for appreciating my passion and not being frightened of it! 🤣

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