The longer I have this blog, the more enamored I become of women. I have a history of being super critical of women in general, and opting instead to put men on a pedestal. That was the way I saw the world before The Goddess arrived.
Before The Goddess arrived, I viewed people in a way that was clearly a reflection of my childhood parental influences. My mother was an alcoholic whom I struggled to respect and forgive until well into my adult life. Thankfully I reached a healthy place with her, my heart bursting with pure and innocent love for her, before her passing on December 20, 2017. And my father was much more steady, authoritative yet nurturing, reliable, and supportive. So, I hauled those beliefs into my adult life, always defaulting to the assumption that women were losers and not to be trusted, and men knew best and were worthy of ultimate worship.
In April 2021, I wrote my first “Women Answer” article, asking women what they love about being a woman. The process was so profound for me, and I realized in writing that article, my need for ultimate connection with women.
Don’t get me wrong, it’s not like I have no positive female connections. I love and need my female friends and family members, and I deeply value my female relationships. But, I do admit that for most of my life, I have been secretly (and sometimes outwardly) more critical of females in general. Whereas with men, I would truly always, always, always give them the benefit of the doubt. Some of this comes from society. We as women are taught to intrinsically hate one another. Because somewhere along the line, men figured out that we as women are stronger when we ban together. And some men, not all men, but some, don’t like when we’re strong. It makes them scurred, and angry, and uncomfortable. And it makes them feel the need to check themselves, which takes them out of their self-satisfied comfort zone.
A CHANGE OF HEART
Over the last few months, since this first article was released, a change has come over me. I find myself coming to the defense of other women that I might otherwise criticize. And I find myself standing up for myself in certain situations that used to make me cave in on myself, ashamed and insecure. Just last night, I was watching a cooking competition on TV. It was a barbecue competition that typically favors men. However, there were many women in the competition, and the two finalists were women from Mexico and Brazil. And even though they were competing against each other, they were so supportive and proud of one another. And I found myself getting choked up, feeling such oneness with their goddess vibes.
Yes, this is my new normal, I think. And I’m loving it. I feel like Artemis, the Goddess of so many things. She was the goddess of wild animals, the hunt, vegetation, chastity, and childbirth. To me, Artemis has always felt like a protector. And although I don’t feel very drawn to activism, I do feel aligned with this idea of female unity. And this blog, and this article in particular, is my way of hopefully perpetuating some of that unity. There is still SOOOO much more to do, and I feel like I’m just getting started. But I’m so loving it!
This time, I wanted to ask women about what they are trying to manifest right now, mostly because I’m curious. I have dreams and goals galore. And these dreams make me feel powerful. Because they remind me that I have a heart that is striving and yearning. And I truly want to know what is inside the hearts of other women. Often, I feel like women keep their dreams to themselves. They don’t want to reveal that they might not be so happy with the status quo. And they may prefer to achieve their goals behind the shadows, only revealing their successes once they are bonafide and real.
However, what I have found is that women are never satisfied! I’m never satisfied and I always want more. And I actually don’t think that’s a woman thing. I think it’s a person thing. But I do believe that when women achieve their goals, they often don’t remember to enjoy how far they’ve come. And they might forget to relax and bask, instead focusing on the next goal. I do this all of the time. So, I suppose this article topic is my way of inviting women to:
2. REFLECT ON A HEART LEVEL
3. BE VULNERABLE ENOUGH TO SHARE
I want to thank every single woman in this article for their willingness to pause, reflect, and share. It takes guts to do this. And I feel so excited to be a part of this endeavor. These women, just as the women in my last article, are BAD ASS, vulnerable, decadent with life experience, and unique. And I so value the trust they each put in me, to showcase their words in this way.
[This is by no means a comprehensive collection of female perspectives, and instead represents a richly varied grouping of females within my circle of interests. I also live in the Philadelphia area, and so I approached many women living and working in Philadelphia. Also, I identify as a Cisgender female and am writing this article from a Cisgender perspective. My intention is not to offend or disrespect any other gender identities or groups. However, as far as I am aware, the scope of this project is confined within the parameters of Cisgender females.]
In alphabetical order…
WOMEN ANSWER: WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO MANIFEST RIGHT NOW?
FLOSS BARBER | CEO, MENTOR, EDUCATOR, WANNA BE ARTIST | FLOSS BARBER, INC.
“It is my desire to be in 100% harmony with all aspects of my life. That is: my husband, family relations, clients, employee relationships, friends, community, financial goals, educational, and spiritual goals. I am aware of the effort required and I love pursuing it.”
CARA CHACE | CEO | WORK BETTER LIVE WELL
“For the first time, I am manifesting a business that is based on what I love doing and what I want to share, vs simply what I know how to do well. Since 2015, I have offered services for skills that are rooted in others’ platforms (social media, Squarespace, and Pinterest). Now I am building the Work Better Live Well brand for entrepreneurs like me – those tough cookies that want to build their business while staying true to their values and priorities. It’s a manifestation of all the tough life lessons I’ve learned in building my own business over the last 6+ years – and comes straight from my heart and real life.”
JEANNE CHANG | CO-FOUNDER | LIL’ POP SHOP
“Honestly I haven’t been thinking about manifesting much more than getting through this pandemic as a mother and a small business owner. It’s been a tricky eighteen months holding everything together, trying to keep everyone healthy and happy while running a small food business. There have been many joyous moments and I am grateful for so much in my life and all the wonderful things that have come to fruition, but as the pandemic drags on, I would just love for everyone to make it to the other side in one piece.
Big picture and future manifesting: traveling and showing my kids more of this world, going camping, seeing more of the states via camper van; planting flowers and gardening; figuring out what I want to be doing 5-10 years from now.
Working on currently: Slowing down. It feels like all my life I have been rushing around to meet one goal after another. Working in kitchens where speed matters and in catering where timelines and deadlines abound hasn’t helped the pervasive feeling that I need to get everything done ASAP. Add to that our culture of quick replies and immediate responses and I feel like I should be sprinting everywhere. I realize that when I’m at work I might have to be fast, but once I leave (haha, do I ever really leave?), I can and should slow down. Do I really have to rush through making dinner for my family or getting through bedtime? I think the constant rushing prevents me from really enjoying life and makes me dread things like playing make believe games with my kids. I think in my mind I can stretch out time a bit and walk a little more slowly to not only get to the next destination, but figure out where that might be.”
PAIGE CHAPMAN | ENTREPRENEUR + OWNER | MAMA’S WELLNESS JOINT
“Like so many, the pandemic created some major waves in my life. Last December 2020, after months of deliberating, I made the very tough decision to close my beloved yoga studio of 8+ years and take my business virtual. And at the same time, my husband and I decided to leave our hometown of Philadelphia and go on a nomadic adventure. Over the last 9 months we’ve spent time in The Hudson Valley, New Orleans, Providence Rhode Island, and soon will be spending September at the beach in Ocean City, NJ. It’s been a really wonderful adventure but we’re both feeling the itch to find a home to settle down for a bit. At the moment, I’m manifesting a sweet house not too far outside of the Philadelphia area that is surrounded by trees, has a yard and garden, lots of windows, hardwood floors, an inviting kitchen, a fireplace, and good vibes.”
JEANNINE COOK | WRITER, EDUCATOR, ORGANIZER, CURATOR, AND SHOPKEEPER | HARRIETT’S BOOKSHOP AND IDA’S BOOKSHOP
- Truth and Reconciliation Trials 2.0
- A renovated Home for Harrietts
- Reparations for descendants of this land’s enslaved
- Tea with Alice Walker
- A completed memoir
- Healthy happy relationships with and for humanity
HELEN EDWARDS | OWNER | SEXY FREEDOM, LLC
“Right now, I am currently manifesting an abundance of wealth. The last two decades of my life I’ve witnessed everything I’ve desired come to fruition. I’ve created events, retreats, became an author, host of a podcast, yoga instructor, produced my own book trailer, found healthy love, traveled around the world, and have built a brand around the expression of freedom. The one thing I have not done yet is become a millionaire. It’s always been a dream of mine since I was a kid. I’m still holding on to that possibility and now taking the steps to upgrade my streams of income and LEVEL UP to reach an abundance of wealth. I believe in myself and will do everything I can to figure it out. Energy goes where attention flows. And so it is!”
CHARTEL FINDLATER | MAKER-IN-CHIEF | GOLD+WATER CO.
“I have goals, visions, and dreams that I work toward consistently and earnestly, such as growing my business and developing stronger relationships with my loved ones. But I have eased up on the thought that I need to know the details of everything that will happen in my life. Ultimately, I am surrendering more and more to the belief that God is in control of my world and the world at large. All I endeavor to manifest is more of that trust, as it has led me to an incredible amount of peace. There have been wonderful things that I have pursued with great specificity, but they have not turned out to be nearly as wonderful as the unexpected things I have learned and earned. While I understand that others may have different belief systems, this is the framework for my life and even for my company, GOLD+WATER CO. It is a company and path that I never had a single thought about before starting, but one which has opened more doors, in more ways than I planned or imagined.”
ISABELLA FRAPPIER | PLEASURE MENTOR
“I am manifesting luxuriously slowness and presence. I just moved back to my home country of Australia, after 7 intense years in Los Angeles. I am manifesting slow mornings watching the sunrise and sipping tea. Feeding the chickens and counting their eggs. Laughing with my family and holding each other close. After years of fierce devotion to building my business I am now manifesting it running itself a little more, and giving me some time and space to step back and really soak up this fleeting life we are gifted.”
KIKI G. | FILM MAKEUP ARTIST, FOUNDER & CEO | SALT NEW YORK
“Two words came to my mind when I sat down to answer this: Ease and Courage.
Seemingly a bit at odds with each other. I’m interested in both words individually and in striking a sustainable balance between them.
I’m finding that (for me) doing or being anything: a parent, an entrepreneur, a friend, a lover, an artist, both threatens to take from my ease and requires my courage. Obviously, these things give much more than they take, but I am consciously working on claiming ease and moving courageously through these processes/states of being.
Ease. The life I’ve chosen is full of uncertainty and responsibility. I am a single parent, I own a business. I make decisions daily that have significant impacts on my life and the lives of those dependent on me. I’ve come to the conclusion that I have two options: panic continually or practice ease. I’m choosing ease. It is…not easy lol.
For me this looks like: breathing air, stopping to reset in the moment before reacting, taking breaks when I need them, and looking back at the abundant data I now have that proves I can do hard things AND experience joy.
Courage. Oof. The next level of my life requires me to be courageously vulnerable, something I have historically opted out of entirely. Vulnerability and I have not been good buddies! More like, ‘I don’t know her’ passersby. However, I know that I will miss out on so much fullness if I continue to opt out. Most importantly, I know that my son learns from my actions more than my words and I don’t want him to miss out on all the juicy stuff too because I was too scared to let myself be vulnerable. I can’t set that example for him. So I’m choosing courage, vulnerability, juiciness, fullness, whatever you want to call it.
For me this looks like: Letting the (extreme) discomfort of imperfection, risk, and fear wash over me, then moving forward anyway.”
“I have been a single mother for 14 years now, working a full time job since I separated from my ex-husband. Until just recently, I have been focusing mostly on my children. The job I have right now is procurement for one of the largest companies on the East Coast. I think I’m pretty good at what I’m doing for a foreigner working for an American company. My forte is not business, but I alway enjoy using my hands to create. I have been a potter since my divorce. Touching clay is so calming and therapeutic. I started dreaming of sculpting pots for the rest of my life. When I realized that my full time work is not something I wanted to pursue for the rest of my life, I put myself out there to be a potter. I’m a latecomer, so I know what I’m up against. My work is also not western in its style. Since I was raised in Japan, my pieces are more unusual for those who don’t share my nationality. I made certain rules for myself such as ‘no discounts,’ ‘no mugs,’ and create pots that meet my personal aesthetic.
Every day I think of where I want to be and what I want to become. I have no problem picturing myself as a successful artist. I remind myself every day where I want to be. This is only my second year since I decided to become a professional potter, and yet this year I got myself a show in Miami, a show in DC, and more to come. I was in an article in The Philadelphia Inquirer, ‘AAPI-owned businesses in Philly to support all year round.’ I made plates for a popular sushi restaurant in Miami, and am currently making plates and cups for a couple of restaurants in Philly, as well as a kaiseki restaurant, soon to open in NYC.
Things are lining up nice and smooth since I want my head in this pottery business 100%. I’m so excited about what I can do and what I can manifest and accomplish.”
MICHAELA MACPHERSON | ILLUSTRATOR AND CERAMICIST | CLAY TITS
“What I am trying to manifest in my life right now is balance. I seem to only be able to thrive either professionally or in my personal life, but never simultaneously. I’m learning to take a step back from things that compromise my overall stability, and to take it easy on myself.”
SACI MAGREE | BRAND & MARKETING MANAGER + ARIES | MAGIC OF I.
“Presence. In a world that is somewhat chaotic at the moment and everywhere we turn is laced in fear whether it be via news feeds, social media and even in conversation, trying to find that peace in presence can be quite difficult.
I learnt a new word recently from a beautiful friend Jane Hone; Liminal, liminal space is a kind of transitory place — a transitional phase between one thing and the next; an in-between place. Technically, being in the shower or on a train is to be in liminal space: you’ve left where you were, but you haven’t yet arrived at the next destination. The word comes from the Latin limen, meaning “threshold”. Liminality is often spoken of in terms of rites of passage.
Often in life, we are liminal, not quite arrived at our destination, and in this current world collectively we are in this place of limbo, not quite knowing what the ‘post-covid’ world will look like and how much longer it will take to get there.
So I am trying to manifest presence in the unknown, presence in my daily routine and finding presence in even the smallest of tasks and finding joy within presence.”
ERLINA ORTIZ | PLAYWRIGHT, PERFORMER, TEACHER, THEATRE MAKER | POWER STREET THEATRE
“Right now I am trying to manifest ease. I’ve felt (and probably a lot of us have) like I hit a lot of unexpected road blocks this last year and life complications were abundant. So I’m manifesting ease. I want to breathe easy and be like yea, it’s all working out. Oh and wealth. I am trying to manifest wealth because wealth brings ease if you use it right.”
HILLARY SAYLOR SCHULZE | 9 TO 5IVER & WRITER
“Manifesting is never about the thing I want but about the thing that stops me from wanting. I always want Freedom. I used to attempt freedom by wishing for men, rent, and abs. My new thing is to cultivate relationship miracles, hoping that if someone else does all the work, I could be free of it. None of these approaches work. Rest works. Sinking into a Divinely stuffed pillow of support that can handle all of me – my German physique, my psychosis, and my hopes and dreams – works. And while I still desperately pray to a number of imposed upon entities to please please cancel meetings so I can continue to listen to my Michael Bolton station on iHeart Radio and ignore everyone, each day I start over and try to manifest that Peace.”
ACHOLA SIMKINS | OWNER | UPRISING ACM
“I am currently manifesting courage and capital. I own a yoga and cultural studio in south Philadelphia and as you could probably guess the pandemic has been a challenging road. We have survived and we look stable enough to continue to survive but I yearn for the comfort of a predictable income stream. It has been what feels like ages since I felt the confidence to make long term financial goals. I am on my way back to that way of life.
I am manifesting courage because the aforementioned financial insecurity is self imposed. At any moment I can quit this dream and can turn back. I’m taking a calculated risk. I’m betting on myself and as grand as that sounds on paper it’s terrifying in action. The universe has laid innumerable blessings at my feet, there’s not a day that goes by that I don’t acknowledge that. But woven into those blessings are responsibilities that I do not fully comprehend. I’ve never been one to shy away from hard work, but the majority of the time I don’t know exactly what work I should be doing. I am manifesting the courage necessary to keep stumbling forward so that I can manifest the capital necessary to eventually hire someone to do the stumbling for me.”
SARAH VRBA | INTUITIVE AND ARTIST
“I am manifesting peace and centered curiosity in my life. It’s a season of simplifying and helping my creativity burgeon from a place of centeredness, in speaking, painting, and writing. I dream of that energy spilling out into the world and helping anyone who also wants to strengthen that sense of peace in themselves and the world.”
JULIA WASHINGTON | WRITER, PRODUCER, PODCAST HOST, AND SOCIAL MEDIA MANAGER | POP CULTURE MAKES ME JEALOUS
“Freedom. Independence. I think I’ve always been chasing these two. When I was a kid, an airline’s marketing slogan, ‘You’re free to move about the country,’ which I assumed was a play on the captain turning off the seatbelt sign and announcing you’re free to move about the cabin if needed. I don’t feel free to move about the country, but I want to. I work every day focused on my goals, hanging on to my dreams, so that I may achieve the freedom to move about the country in the ways that I choose.
Maybe the craving to be free is in my DNA. Generations of my ancestors weren’t afforded such luxury and while I have achieved far more than grandmothers, my wings still feel clipped some days, but I know that is temporary. Everything is temporary which means the bad days won’t last forever, and the good days we need to relish in.”
THANK YOU AGAIN TO EVERY GODDESS WHO CONTRIBUTED TO THIS ARTICLE!
I hope you enjoyed entering the hearts of these amazing women. I certainly did! xo
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Featured photo by Garidy Sanders on Unsplash