1. My wife and I have been married to each other for 35 years, and we each have things that the others don’t like. For example, I make little noises like picking at my toenails or spitting sunflower seeds that bother her. She’ll just ask me to stop if we’re in the same room or shut the door if we’re not. I don’t do either of them purposefully, and since I know they genuinely bother her, I try to be conscious of not doing it around her. One little thing that bothers me about my wife is she hasn’t come to grips with the fact that we don’t hear as well as we used to. I freely admit my decline, and I don’t understand why she can’t face that fact. We must say “what” to each other 50 times a day.🤣 The point is every relationship is has things like this. We just accept that neither of us is perfect and move on. When something more important is bugging one of us, we are good about communicating.

  2. It just sounds like a personality mismatch. My ex and I had A LOT of mismatches and I kept ignoring them through our dating period but after I was like WHAAAAAT was I thinking??!! We all tend to ignore these mismatches in the name of love and some should be ignored but fundamental ones like beliefs, intellect etc. – they need to match.

    About no.4 – I am very secretive. I don’t like divulging more information than I need to. I get very annoyed too when someone shares extra information about me (read as: my dad *uff*).

    So I am grossed out by bodily functions too till I’m not in LOVE with that person and then I don’t care. But I am SO SO conscious about my own bodily functions around the guy I’m seeing. Once after dinner at a date’s house, I really badly needed to poo (I know you are going to hate me for sharing this extra info :P) so I called a cab and went home (40 mins of absolute torture trying to get home). 😀

    1. Um no I love poop talk! The more the better, toilet humor is kinda my favorite, oddly. Yeah I think that’s normal when you’re first dating someone to be embarrassed of all that stuff. Which is why it’s so nice once you do get to know each other and it’s not a thing. If I told you what he did tho when we lived together I think you’d be thoroughly horrified. I’ll share with you on chat. And thank you for sharing some similar traits that you share with my ex. It’s good you and I aren’t dating ha! And yes it helps me to see it more like there are just differences. And honestly, they didn’t bother me much. But yeah they all clearly bothered him. And I do applaud his courage for leaving even when he knew it would suck for us both. Sigh 😭

  3. I am with you about not being tolerant of additictive substances. I can’t stand it when people convince me otherwise. I certainly understand your feelings about being around slobs too. I also had an ex who didn’t care about how I felt either. He hated when I shared stuff with him. Granted, he was also a narcissist who would monopolize the conversation anyway

  4. Very gracious of you, Libby, to try to see where you fit into all of this.. because without evolution, how are we ever bettering ourselves. I am also glad to see that, upon all this reflection, sometimes an asshole really is just an asshole (his comment about you not being intellectually stimulating was so uncalled for, such a low-blow at your worst state)!

    The fight you had with him about that building… I feel like it is telling that in large part, he kept a lot of his feelings/soul/secrets/thoughts to himself because that was such a small, inconsequential thing that turned into such a huge unnecessary fight…

    Also, you’re right, I AM DYING to know about his messy bodily functions LOL (I’m a secret toilet talker too)! LOL

    1. Thank you sooooo much for this validation! I really appreciate it and love the “asshole is really just an asshole” idea 🤣 ok I’m totally gonna email you toilet details, u asked for it!!! 🤣 🚽

  5. I always love the images you choose for your articles, GA. It’s obvious you’re an artist. You always choose perfect images to illustrate your powerful words. When I saw the rooster my first thought was
    Rooster=Cock=Dick=Ex Dude. Then I got to #10. I was right. Ex dude is totally a dick.

    I can relate to what you’re feeling, Libby. You’re handling it better than I, though. Sadly, I’ve been on the giving end of this as well as the receiving end. I’ve known there were issues but tried to convince myself– for years — that they didn’t matter. Only to finally walk away because I realized they did matter and I couldn’t do it. It was abrupt to the other person, and certainly hurtful. It was the hardest thing I’d ever done, and I felt like shit for doing it. I took complete responsibility for everything, and NEVER would’ve even considered saying some fucked up bullshit about his intellect. I did something hurtful. It had to be done, and he is better for it, having found a life partner who loves him as he deserves to be loved.
    It’s impossible to see any of this when we’re actively grieving, as I know from experience on both sides. But eventually, you will truly know that you are better off and that rejection is protection from what wasn’t right for you. Definitely protection from dick behavior.

    1. Thank you Natalie, I love how you always “get” my creativity! And yes I put so much thought into the images I choose so I appreciate that you appreciate them! For me, the rooster was def more how I felt, like ugly and gross. However I also love your cock analogy 🤣🤣 And yes, I definitely think it just happens sometimes when you have to hurt someone in order to move on and there’s no easy way around that. But yeah his needless hurtful words just felt like a punch in the gut after such a loving 3.5 years of being together. Although I also think if he wasn’t such a jerk about it, I may have had a harder time moving on. So his jerk behavior kinda made me grateful that I’m not with him now! Thank you so much always for your support. Xoxoxo

Leave a Reply